Saturday, February 7, 2009


This afternoon I needed to get some "baby prevention" items. As I was looking over the whole feminine items aisle I noticed some products called "feminine enhancement" cremes.

(Any of my older offspring who might have started reading this have leapt from their chairs and run screaming from the room).

I was amused by their names and claims but didn't want to stand around too long looking at them because I embarrass easily. It would be my luck that someone I knew would happen upon me reading the back of "Oh MY! Maximum Pleasure for Her".

I bought the stuff I came for which was embarrassing enough to show up at the counter with only a box of birth control but I was too cheap to throw in a couple of candy bars or a magazine I didnt need and there wasn't enough time to do any other shopping. So I bit the bullet and placed my purchase on the check out counter and tired to ignore the man behind me who suddenly seemed very friendly.

When I got home I was still wondering what all those products do. Warming cremes I get. They make you WARM..... but enhancement gels? I thought "enhancement" was for guys.

So of course I asked Jeff the human encyclopedia.

After the raised eyebrow and sideways glance he said he didn't have a clue how they worked and reminded me that Google is your friend.

So I sat down at the computer and typed in "How do female enhancement gels work?" and hit enter.

At that very moment a chat window pops up from Facebook from a high school friend reminding me about an upcoming reunion.

"enhancement gels work" got cut off my google query and appeared in the chat window and when I hit enter I sent it to him.


I stared dumbstruck at the screen.

He immediately typed back...."Do they really?" with a big smilie face.

I think my whole body became jell-o and my fingers froze.

I fumbled around trying to come up with an excuse and managed "Oh I am SO sorry.... I was writing a research paper and your chat window caught part of my writing."

OH Yeah.....that's as lame as it sounds.

He typed back "LOL... well my wife and I have never tried them, but if you say they work maybe we should give some a try?" And another smilie face.

I am officially mortified!


Unknown said...



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