Friday, February 25, 2011

Reading.... the new contact sport

The entire house.

Thats how much room the two of them have to find a place to read.

There's the living room, the breakfast table, the top bunk, the bottom bunk, my bed, on the floor. The list goes on. So many different choices to settle in and get that book report reading done.

Yet they are drawn together like moths to flame. With the same end result.

I'm working on the computer and drifting down the hall comes the happy sounds of the afternoon.

"Stop kicking me."

"Well then get your foot out from under my butt"

"Why don't you move your butt, there's no room for my feet"

"If your feet weren't so big that wouldn't be a problem"

"If your butt weren't so big there'd be room for my feet"

I reluctantly head down the hall to find the two of them on the short side of the sofa, their heads at each end and their feet entwined together.

"What are you two doing?"

"Reading". This is accompanied by a look of "What did you think we were doing?"

"Why are you both on the small end of the sofa?"

They look around as if it has just occurred to them that there are other places they could be.

"You" pointing at Jeffrey "Lay over here" I direct him to the other couch.

"You" pointing at Katherine "Go lay on your bed".

They both look completely shocked but get up and shuffle off to other locales.

Back to my work and hopefully a little peace and quiet.

The universe finds my optimism amusing.

15 minutes later and the happy sounds of children's voices once again come floating down the hall.

"Get your knee out of my side"

"Well move over, you don't have squish me."

"I'm not squishing you, you're just taking up too much room."

"I am not, I was here first so I can take up as much as I want to."

"Thats selfish... MOM Katherine is being selfish"

They're kidding right?

Once again I head down the hall and they are laying on the living room floor, practically on top of each other, both with rather cross looks on their faces.

"NOW what are the two of you doing?"

"I came out here to read and then Jeffrey got off the sofa and started taking up the whole floor so there was no room for me."

No room at all except the entire other part of the floor on the other side of the room.

"NO! Thats not how it happened. I was just laying here already on the floor when she came in and laid down right on top of me.

"I did NOT"

"You did TOO!"

This is the time I wish I could do one of those really loud whistles that make everyone stop whatever they are doing and give you their undivided attention.

Since I can't do that I was left with raising my voice to be heard above the ruckus.

"YO!"

That worked.

"Why are you both not where I told you to be? If you both stayed in your assigned places I wouldn't have to keep coming out here to referee this absurdity. Can't you two stay apart for more than 5 minutes?"

"But it's lonely being apart."

"And we like being together."

"Yeah it's no fun being in different rooms."

See and here I thought the whole point was to avoid arguing and instead I come to find out that arguing is actually fun.

You learn something new every day.