Saturday, May 28, 2011

Pass the Umbrella, Please


Can someone please explain to me why when one expensive and necessary object breaks or stops working, other expensive and necessary objects in the general vicinity tend to follow suit?

The list of things going haywire in my life right now is growing at an astonishing rate.

First there was the living room TV. We were watching it one Saturday afternoon and there was a loud POP and the color went out, the picture skewed and that was that. In an effort not interrupt our evening ritual we dragged the bedroom TV out to the living room. After a lot of grousing and complaining that it was too small to enjoy, we settled in and figured it was better than nothing.

We discovered that TV is also on the way out, so it might end up being nothing after all.

Note to readers: There is a reason they no longer make DLP TVs. (Both of ours were Samsung). They do not last long and before you know it you will be having to replace them with something more reliable. These were only 5 years old. Both color wheels failed and in the case of the big set, one of the electronic boards went out at the same time.

An-eeeeeeeee-way. Moving on.

Jeff's computer fan is making a terrible noise and you have to turn it on and off several times before you can get it to boot up without making a horrific noise. Now this is a little more understandable because the poor thing is at least 8 years old and neither of us knows how its lasted this long in the first place. There was a period of time when we had an office and warehouse in Agoura Hills and it was on 24 hours a day so Jeff could remotely access it. It was only a matter of time before it started to break down. And now of course seems like a good time.

And the cherry on top of the failing cake: our Honda Odyssey has been having transmission trouble for the past few months and we have been babying it and getting it cooperate. Until last week.

On the way up the hill towards home it was slipping so bad we had to turn around and go the long long way around to avoid the steepest part of the drive.

That was basically it's death knell.

$3200 later it's fixed and we're eating cup of noodles until we can replenish the bank account.

The list goes on but I think you get the idea.

When it rains it pours.

And I seem to have lost my umbrella and I'm now I'm completely soaked.

Looking forward to a little sunshine in the hopefully not too distant future.


Friday, May 27, 2011

Forgotten Friday ~~ Pong, Nintendo

I didn't have video games when I was a little kid.

My dad got me the Mattel Football hand held game sometime in the late 70's which put me in my early teens. It had tiny red LED lights that moved across the screen to simulate players. I played it a lot and thought it was pretty cool. I might even have it still in one of my memory boxes.


The next step up was Pong. One of my girlfriends got this for Christmas (or more likely Hanukkah) one year and I was so jealous that she could play any time she wanted.


Of course looking back now I can't imagine that this held anyone's attention for too long. I was terrible at it so after the 5th or 6th game I usually gave up.

The very first incarnation of video games that actually made it into my possession was the very first Nintendo game system which a friend of mine gave the kids because they had bought a newer version.
Thats was probably the late 90's.


The kids played Mario endlessly and I also got pretty good at it.



But truly my all time favorite from this era was Zelda. I learned all the tricks and short cuts until I beat the game. I still have fond memories of sitting in front of the TV playing over and over until I got it right.



Then in 1992 for Christopher's  7th birthday he got the Holy Grail of gifts; The Super Nintendo!


There were the usual favorite games:




One of my personal favorites was Mario Cart because I got really good at it!
I always had to be Yoshi and none of the kids could beat me!
I played this not too long ago and was appalled that I could no longer stay on the course on Rainbow Road and Jeffrey beat my pants off on every level.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.



Then there was Mario Paint that came complete with a "Super Nintendo Mouse".
The kids spent hours and hours playing it and I have to admit I was pretty fond of it too.


Here is a home movie Chris took of one of the songs he "wrote".


Then there was Yoshi's Island.
I just adored this game. Loved the patchwork feel to it.
I spent quite a bit of time in my off hours playing and eventually beat the game.


And last but not least for today was the original Gameboy.
This was another hand-me-down and again I can remember Chris being over the moon when he got it.
He kept saying how he could now take video games everywhere and he didn't think it could get any better than that.


So I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend.
3 days to sleep in and relax.
And play some video games!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Preparing to grin and bear it, Captain.

3 Weeks and counting until school lets out.

This is always a mixed blessing. This means we do not have to get up at 7 AM every day and drive the crew to school. But it then follows that the crew is not in school.

After a week or two of this I begin to think that getting up early isn't such a bad trade off. Eleven weeks with the Bickersons  (AKA Jeffrey & Katherine) can get a little tedious.

This summer we will add to fun by having the twins, Jacob and Olivia with us 3 days a week.

Double the noise, double the fun!

I plan on structuring their days so there isn't a lot of time for miscellaneous grousing, complaining, fighting and hollering. I think we'll make every Friday a beach day. We're about 1/2 an hour from Zuma Beach and I always complain I don't go enough every summer so this way I will be forced into doing what I wanted to do in the first place.

And at least one day a week I plan on an outing to someplace interesting. But after the Museums downtown, the La Brea Tar Pits and the Griffith Observatory I'm already out of ideas. Well, out of ideas that don't cost a small fortune.

Being the end of the year, the teachers are trying to squeeze as much into these last few weeks as possible.
This includes Open House which encompasses giving up your dinner hour to drive to the school, park 8 blocks away, fight your way through the crowds to your kids classroom, fight the crowds IN your kids classroom, spend 2 minutes with the teacher who tells you what a pleasure your kid has been all year before dashing off to repeat the same thing to the next parent in line, fight  your way back through the crowds, walk 8 blocks back to your car and go home and wonder what you accomplished.

But I found out earlier this week that we will have the  real pièce de résistance at the end of this year. Something I have never had the pleasure of experiencing before.

Because Jeffrey and Katherine are both in 4th grade, they both do the same projects and take the same tests and go on the same field trips etc. So if one of them is clueless to what is going on, the other one will probably know. It's been a nice little perk until now.

The last thing the kids are studying this year is the California gold rush. And to go with this unit they are performing a play complete with songs and skits and all the other stuff that accompanies an elementary school performance.

There are five 4th grades and instead of doing 5 separate plays they are combining the classrooms. 2 classes plus half of one class will perform at 6 PM next Friday followed by 2 1/2 half classes performing the exact same play at 7 PM the same day.

If you have even a single thought in your head you should know where I am going with this. That's right ladies and gentlemen.... Katherine and Jeffrey are in different performances.

This translates into 2 (count 'em.. 2) hours we will have to sit through watching the same show twice.

I asked Katherine what her part was.

"These are my lines 'Welcome parents and family. Thank you for coming to our show. Please sit back and relax and enjoy our performance.' I'm the Hostess."

"And what else do you do?"

"I sing in a couple of the songs. That's it."

"And Jeffrey, what are your lines?"

"I don't have any. I'm a dancer."

"You have no lines whatsoever?"

"Nope. And I'm not happy about it. Do I have to do this play?"

Don't I wish.

I saw this exact same play when Alex was in the 4th grade six years ago. And at that time I do not remember thinking that it was so good that not only would I want to see it again  but I'd like to catch it twice in one night.

Now don't get me wrong, Jeff and I will both be there and cheer our kids on and never let on that we are suffering. But if I could just get my hands on who divided up the classes without regard to the parents of siblings, I would certainly give them a piece of my mind.

Of course I may not have much left after next Friday so maybe I just better grin and bear it.
I've become pretty good at that lately.

Friday, May 20, 2011

It's the end of the world as we know it ~~ And I feel fine.


My Facebook page is littered with videos and tips and suggestions for the coming Rapture tomorrow. If I read them all I should be quite prepared.

Wait, do I capitalize Rapture? I'm not sure. I know I'm supposed capitalize God. ACK.. wait a second.. I think I'm supposed to write G-D instead of spelling it out completely. Right?

See what happens when you don't grow up going to church? So many unanswered questions. And really important ones too. For instance, should one dress up for the coming event tomorrow? Like an evening gown or cocktail dress or can I be slightly more causal in a pants suit and heels? I wouldn't want to offend anybody and show up Friday casual. Oh wait, it's Saturday so maybe that doesn't count. And do my clothes even go with me? I've heard that there will be empty cars and discarded clothing littering the streets so maybe I shouldn't be giving it any thought. Come as you are and just bring your smile.

Of course it's really a moot point because it is one party that I am definitely not invited too. Which is fine because I doubt I would like the company anyway. And they certainly would not like me so I guess we're even.

If on the other hand you plan attending I do ask that you avoid driving or otherwise operating any sort of machinery that depends heavily on human guidance. Those of us left behind (aka the Damned) will already have to deal with the fact that we now face earthquakes, plagues, fire, gay pride, pestilence, war, famine etc. without having the inconvenience of dodging unoccupied cars, falling aircraft, out of control forklifts and the like when you are sucked into heaven. And if you are unsure as to whether you will be attending said Rapture, it might be best to err on the side of caution and stay home, prepare a nice meal, watch some TV and relax because before you know it you're going to be greeting your long lost loved ones, fitted for wings and be busy settling into the afterlife. You have no idea when the next time you'll be able to catch an episode of Fox News or the O'Reilly Factor.

For those of left behind, let's go find all of our gay friends, catch some great tunes on the radio and relax without being told we are all gong to Hell.

Because we will already be there.

And in good company too I might add.



Monday, May 16, 2011

101 Random Personal Questions





Because I have nothing better to blog about this morning, I give you: answers about me!
(I have recently updated this in 2022)

  1. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR BEDROOM? A wonderful framed print of old school  Winnie the Pooh playing Pooh Sticks that I got from Disney world.
  2. DO YOU PLAY BOARD GAMES? WHICH ONES? Yes.  Lately (because we are horrible humans) we have been playing Cards against Humanity..
  3. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Lady Gaga (Love her music from A Star is Born), 80's Pop, A smattering of 70's Disco, ABBA, Roxette. I'm all over the place.
  4. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 7:40 AM.
  5. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? A vacation
  6. WHO DO YOU MISS? My parents. 
  7. ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ANYONE? Nope.
  8. CAN YOU DANCE? I dance better in theory than in practice
  9. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Sorry, if I told you I would have to kill you.
  10. THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED? Star Trek
  11. THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO? Jeffrey who wanted to know when I was going to put away the food on the stove.
  12. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? Do we even need to ask this?
  13. THE LAST THING TO MAKE YOU CRY? I'm sure it was some TV show.
  14. DO YOU WANT TO LOSE OR GAIN WEIGHT? Working on losing. Lost 40 pounds this past year.
  15. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Any color hair but love me some blue eyes.
  16. WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY? Can I go for both and be a smartass?
  17. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS? Java Java Java
  18. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Mushrooms, bell peppers, and onions. Oh I hate to admit it, but pineapple is absolutely yummy.
  19. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Sushi.
  20. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU MAD? Probably some idiot driver who shouldn't be on the road.
  21. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE? I can sing the entire Dragostea Din Tei song in Romanian does that count?
  22. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? 1979 Honda Accord.
  23. WHAT IS YOUR FANTASY CAREER? A rock star. I turn into one every time I get in the car by myself and crank up the tunes.
  24. ARE YOU A LEFTY OR A RIGHTY? Righty.
  25. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Anything that fits and doesn't make me look too fat. (Where can I buy that?)
  26. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR? I gave up wanting an exotic and realized I'd love to have any brand of Hybrid.
  27. WHAT COLOR IS IT? Blue.
  28. DO YOU LIKE SPICY FOOD? I do but my tongue does not. 
  29. LITTLE HOUSE ON THE BEACH OR IN THE WOODS? Beach all the way
  30. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Be there for them no matter what.
  31. WRITE A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED? 21
  32. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR? Reddish Blonde (Now from a bottle). I'm trying to relieve my younger days when I didn't have so much gray creeping in everywhere.
  33. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? Sally or Sarah.
  34. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Republicans.
  35. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF YOUR COUNTRY? WHERE DID YOU GO? Yes. Canada, Mexico, all over Europe, Bahamas, Russia. I want to go to Japan someday!
  36. FAVORITE FOOD? Sushi
  37. FRIES/CHIPS, RICE, OR BEANS? Yes please.
  38. FIRST JOB? Usher at the Hollywood Bowl.
  39. WHAT KIND OF CAR(s) DO YOU HAVE NOW? 2018 Nissan Sentra
  40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT? Watching the news and being irritated with the state of the world
  41. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN A MOTORCYCLE? Nope, I value my life (and I'm a big chicken).
  42. WHAT TV SHOWS DO YOU WATCH CURRENTLY? Everything is on summer break so I'm binging stuff on Prime and Netflix
  43. CAN YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT? I can play the piano, but it's been so long I would need a lot of practice.
  44. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? Since I don't drink its a non issue.
  45. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT? Disney theme park. (DUH).
  46. HOW MANY (MORE) KIDS DO YOU WANT? No more thank you..... I've caught my limit. I'm onto grandkids now
  47. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My mother saw my name in the book "Don't Go Near the Water" and thought it was pretty. The girl was a Tahitian princess.
  48. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? All the time.
  49. HOW TALL ARE YOU? Soaring in at 5' 2 3/4".
  50. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Overnight Oats with Strawberries and Bananas
  51. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? When I try I can be pretty neat.
  52. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM? I can doggie paddle with the best of them.
  53. DO YOU CHEW YOUR NAILS? Nope.
  54. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF? Where do I start?
  55. DO YOU GET SEASICK? I never used to until we went to Hawaii and we went took a catamaran to Lanai'i and I felt like I was going to die. I puked over the side of the boat (repeatedly) and didn't care that anyone was watching!
  56. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? See #34.
  57. ARE YOU MARRIED? Widowed
  58. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Los Angeles, California.
  59. DO YOU WEAR A WATCH? Currently my Fitbit doubles as a watch.
  60. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? Too easily.
  61. WHAT WERE YOUR FAVORITE TOYS AS A CHILD? The Marx Farm set, The Little People Airport and Village.
  62. HOW MANY AUTO-DIAL NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR MOBILE PHONE? About 15.
  63. LAST ITEM YOU PURCHASED? Groceries. Dang kids keep eating everything.
  64. DO YOU GO TO CHURCH? Only for weddings or funerals.
  65. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? Unless you count a few of the kids birthday parties, no.
  66. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A PLACE TO LIVE? Proximity to the beach. Which sucks because we moved from California to Arizona.
  67. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Mel, Melsy, Mom, Hey You and Honey Dumpling (no, not really)
  68. HOW MANY HATS DO YOU OWN?  One or two.
  69. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Not usually.
  70. WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE RIGHT NOW? Finally cooling off
  71. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Do I have to chose just one?
  72. WHAT TIME DID YOU GO TO BED LAST NIGHT? 8:30 PM (but I get up at 5 AM).
  73. WHAT SIZE BED DO YOU SLEEP IN? A standard king. That's enough room for me and the cats.
  74. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?  3 piercings.
  75. HAVE YOU BEEN TO LAS VEGAS? Many times. My Mother-in-law lives there so we had to visit on a regular basis.
  76. DO YOU WANT TO GO ANYWHERE SPECIAL THIS YEAR? Disney World, but that's no surprise because I want to go there every year.
  77. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The sounds of silence (a rare commodity in this house).
  78. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Saw Maverick in the theater (loved it)
  79. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Sally.
  80. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? A veterinarian. Or a Rock Star. Either / or.
  81. IF YOU COULD BE WHATEVER YOU WANTED TO BE NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? An astronomer... I LOVE space.
  82. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? Blue.
  83. FAVORITE TWO THINGS TO HATE? FOX News and people who can't drive.
  84. FAVORITE DRINK? Thai Ice tea. But can't remember the last time I had it
  85. WHAT'S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Aquarius.
  86. SPORTS YOU LIKE TO WATCH? Does none count as an answer?
  87. DOGS OR CATS? I've got 5 cats so I guess that answers that.
  88. EYE COLOR? Dark Blue.
  89. LAST PLACE YOU DROVE TO? The market.
  90. SIBLINGS? Grew up as an adopted only child, but I have 4 younger half siblings.
  91. FAVORITE MONTH(s)? I love August because we usually go on vacation, I love October because its almost Halloween and I love December because of Christmas.
  92. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI? Almost more than life itself.
  93. LAST THINGS YOU WATCHED? The News
  94. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? A trip to Disney World (anyone notice a running theme here) .
  95. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW? Sadly none, but I plan to get back to reading at some point soon. I do love all the Janet Evanovich books with Stephanie Plum.
  96. SUMMER OR WINTER?  Used to be summer until I somehow got stuck in Arizona.
  97. KISSES OR HUGS? Both please.
  98. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES? Not so much. (then why do I love The Walking Dead.... good question)
  99. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE MOVIES? I have several but on the top of the list is Tremors (and all the sequels), Ever After, Independence Day, IQ, While You Were Sleeping, Mama Mia, Elvira Mistress of the Dark.
  100. ANY PETS? 4 cats (Kitten, Jones, Mario, and Milo. There is Fernando who lives outside but I'm trying to convince him that indoors is so much more comfortable. As of yet he too afraid to even let me pet him)
  101. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? California t-shirt and shorts. Gotta be comfy!
And as long as you are here...
Enjoy some cuteness!!



Friday, May 13, 2011

Forgotten Friday ~~ Rotary Dial Phones

Remember rotary dial phones?
And how long it would take when you had to redial because you got a busy signal and the number you were calling had a lot of 7, 8 and 9's in it?
Just the other day someone mentioned that there didn't used to be a Q or Z on the dial and I see that they were right.

And of course there was the updated wall phone which usually hung in the kitchen.
I want to get one these and hang it on the side of my kitchen cabinet and have the kids ask me what the heck it is.
And maybe force them to experience having to sit in one place while they were talking because the phone was tethered to the wall.


I was so excited when my dad brought home one of these.
The push button phone in my opinion was one of the greatest inventions of all time!
I wanted to call everybody I knew just so I could experience not having to wait for the dial to reset between numbers.
Remember the little clear slot under the last row of buttons where you could take a piece of paper and write your number on it and slide it in there so everyone would know where they were calling from?




And then there is this relic.



The public pay phone.
Finding one nowadays is next to impossible unless you are in a large public area like an airport or maybe a mall. And even then you have to search.
Not long ago I left the house without my cell phone (unheard of I know for me to forget something) and when I got to where I was going (a large shopping area with Target, Kohls, and a bunch of fast food and smaller shops) I realized I needed to call home.
There was not a public phone in sight and no one I asked had a clue as to where I could look. I finally discovered one near the restrooms in Kohls and it cost me 50¢.
Maybe I shouldn't have been but I was shocked not only at the cost but at the reality that these things that used to be on every street corner are now almost gone for good.

Here is sound I bet most people under 40 have never heard except on old TV shows:



It's times like these that make me wonder in 10, 20 or 30 years, what is going to be archaic and outdated. What will our grandchildren think is weird and wonder how we could ever have used something that primitive.

Times change and lately its been at an exponential rate. But in truth I am excited to see what happens. As long as it doesn't involve out of control robots bent on destroying their makers.

I've seen that on television and it wasn't pretty.


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Night of the Living Scaredy Cat


We should all know by now that I am a huge scaredy cat.

I'm afraid of spiders, roller coasters, bungee jumping, heights, deep water.

With that list I would guess my ultimate form of torture would be bungee jumping off a very tall roller coaster into deep water filled with spiders.

But I digress.

BUT..even worse than those, and something I still hate to this day, is being home alone at night.

I hate it. I hear things. I imagine things. I see things moving around outside.

I have to check every door lock twice and then follow that with a thorough check of all the windows and maybe even the air vents for good measure.

I am truly the worlds biggest baby.

I bring this up because the other day I was reminded of an incident that happened about 13 years ago when I still lived out in Hollywood.

My house there was 1/2 mile down a bush lined driveway. It was extremely private and you could not see the other two neighbors houses (one above and one below) that shared the road with me. It was the perfect set-up for a suspense filled thriller where no one could hear or see someone being murdered.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

At the time of this story I was living alone with my 4 kids and 2 dogs. It was quite late that night (probably around 11PM), the kids were asleep and I was awake in the den smartly watching an X-files about Zombies from Haiti. I am pretty sure I was hiding under a blanket with only one eye peeking out between the scary scenes.

I knew I shouldn't be watching it but I couldn't stop myself. Story of my life sometimes.

About half way through the episode I looked out the window and saw that the hazard lights on my car had suddenly started flashing.

I think my blood pressure must have soared to near stroke level because I became extremely light headed and I couldn't stand up. I knew there was no way my cars light would suddenly go on by themselves. The car doors were locked and I had just glanced out the window at the last commercial to check for an impending Zombie attack and it was completely quiet and dark outside.

Now let me say that I am not like the typical woman in a horror movie who hears strange noises or has a friend go into the basement and then doesn't answer when called, prompting her to go and investigate (usually unarmed).

No siree. I could hear the scary background music, getting louder, waiting to reach a peak as I ventured outside, into the cold dark night just as the staggering rotting corpse descended upon me to eat my brains.

I knew better.

But the problem was I didn't know what to do. I was quite certain someone or something had come down the driveway and somehow turned my blinkers on as a way to lure me outside to do me bodily harm. And my heart was pounding so hard in my head I could not not for the life of me get it together enough to formulate a plan.

At this point I had regained bodily control and had run from the den and was hiding in the hall bathroom when I realized that if I didn't do something, whatever or whoever was out there would eventually try to break in and if it couldn't find me it would go after my kids.

I guess the mother bear instinct in me was stronger than scardey cat instinct because suddenly it all became quite clear. I crawled on my hands and knees through the hall into living room so as not to be seen through a window, fumbled for the phone and dialed 911.

It was such a wonderful plan until the operator answered and asked me for my emergency and I heard myself blurt out "There's something in my driveway that turned on my emergency lights in my car and has me trapped in house and I am afraid for my children's safety."

"Excuse me m'am? There's something in your driveway? Can you be more specific?"

Yes probably if I could think straight.

"Can you please send the police? I dont know what's out there and I need help right away."

"It would help m'am if you could elaborate so I know what to tell the officers to expect."

I seem to remember shouting into the phone:

"I DON'T KNOW WHATS OUT THERE BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT GOOD AND IF YOU DON"T HURRY WHATEVER IT IS IS GOING TO GET ME AND MY CHILDREN."

I imagine at this point she finally called the police and informed them there was a drunk or otherwise intoxicated woman ranting about monsters in her driveway. Perhaps they should send some psychiatric back-up as well.

An absolute eternity (about 15 minutes) later the police came slowly rolling down the driveway, got out and knocked on my door.

I quickly told them the story of how my car lights somehow got turned on and I knew someone was playing a trick on me and was sure I was in trouble and I was really scared and I had been watching the X-files so maybe I was overreacting but I didn't think so and I was glad they were there and would they please go look.

At this point they were probably thinking they might be needing that psychiatric back up after all.

To humor me, they headed over to investigate, clearly not understanding the danger that surely still lurked somewhere in the dark. I crept after them, making sure to look over my shoulder constantly to make sure whatever it was wasn't planning a rear offensive.

When the officers reached the car, flashlights drawn, they looked on each side of the garage, under the car and finally into the windows.

This was when they started to laugh. I mean REALLY laugh. Out loud to the point that they could not breathe.

I knew at that moment I was going to feel like a complete idiot and I didn't even know why.

When one of them caught his breath he motioned me over and pointed his light into the drivers side window. There sitting on the seat was my small dog who had apparently gone out the back door to use the potty then decided to take a snooze in the car through the open window and had caught her collar on the emergency flasher knob and turned it on. She was sitting there unable to move and probably pretty glad someone had finally come to her rescue.

Yep. I felt like an idiot.

Fortunately for me the officers were quite good natured about the whole thing and said it totally made their night and couldn't wait to get back to the station and tell everybody the whole story.

"You don't get calls like this every day" one of them told me.

Glad I could be of service gentlemen.

***SIGH***




Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Way Back Wednesday ~ Chris' Big TV Debut 1990

OK so this isn't nearly as "Way Back" as I normally go, but I am currently in the throes of coping my old VHS movies to DVD and I came across a video of my oldest, Christopher from an Izuzu Truck commercial that he did when he was 4 years old.

The fact that I even have a copy of this is next to amazing because the company told me that they did not provide copies of their commercials because of copyright infringement or some other excuse I can't remember. One day I just happened to get a hold of a sympathetic producer when I called (for the 10th time) explaining to them I never got to see the ad when it was on TV and I was just devastated. So she sent me the video and I have kept it all years these promising myself one day I would get it onto a more permanent and secure medium.



The cool thing is that Chris was not the first choice of the producers. They had chosen another little boy (who I believe was the child of one of the producers) and Chris was called in as a back up. The director told us they would film both boys but unless something went wrong the other kid would be the one they used.

The wardrobe lady fitted both of them into the pajamas which included taking a regular pair of footie pajamas and cutting a flap into them and then sewing on buttons to give them a traditional look. All this while the boys were in them.

The other little boy was taken onto the set first and they gave him instructions such as "When I say BIG BIRD you turn and look at the truck and when I say BALLOONS start swinging your bear." And "Now when I say COTTON CANDY you look over your shoulder then look back at me and make a face like you just ate green beans."

The other kid would not follow directions quickly enough when the words were called out and he could not make a funny face that the director was happy with. So when it was Chris' turn he did everything on cue and then he made the face you see in one take and everyone laughed so hard and the director said "YES..now thats what I was looking for!" The other boys mom looked pretty mad and I had to try not to look too happy.

When it was time to leave they told us that we wouldn't know which kid was chosen for about a month but in less than a week we got our first check from the production company and I knew they had chosen Chris.

And as I mentioned, I never did see it on TV, but everyone else I knew in the free world seemed to catch it because I got at least 3 calls a day from an excited relative or friend informing me that they had just seen Chris on TV.

At least I have a permanent version and I can watch it anytime I want!!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Mothers & Daughters ~~ War & Peace

Being that it was my mothers birthday last weekend and Mothers Day this coming weekend, I felt this was a good time for this post.

I usually try to keep personal experiences for this venue upbeat and positive but sometimes that is not where my heart is and other things need to get said.

"One day you're going to have a daughter and she's going to grow up and treat you exactly the same way you treat me and then you'll understand how I feel."

I lost count how many times my mother said that to me. I didn't know a lot back then but one thing I did know was there was no way that was ever going happen to me because I was not going to treat my daughter the way my mother treated me. I was going to raise her differently. My daughter would understand me and I would understand her. We would be best friends and together we would take on the world.

Since the last time I heard that I have learned a thing or two. Not only about my mother but more importantly about how I perceived her.

And all the knowledge that I have gained and the insight and understanding that I have come to have meant nothing at that moment as I sat on my bed, tears trickling down my face as my own daughter repeated many of things to me that I had accused my own mother of doing.

"You only cared about yourself and what you wanted. You gave the good part of yourself to everyone but me and the only part left over was the bad."

I wanted to say so many things. But she was in no mood to hear any of it. She wanted me to listen to her and anything I had to say was coming from, in her opinion, a place of complete lack of understanding of how much she had suffered by my hands.

All I could manage was to tell her was that some day she would understand all the things that had happened and be able to see both sides more clearly.

But as far as she was concerned, she saw everything perfectly clear right now and her opinion would never change because it was the truth. But she did want me to know that she wasn't mad at me anymore and had forgiven me for everything so that should at least make me feel better.

Not so much.

After she hung up and as I sat staring at the phone in my hand all I could wonder was how this happened? Was it the mothers curse?  Passed on from generation to generation from one frustrated mother to angry daughter again and again?

When I was her age I was so sure my mother was wrong about just about everything and completely lacking in any understanding of how I felt or what I had gone through at her hands. I was also bound and determined to tell her about how she had been mean to me, treated me with no respect, never understood what I needed because she only thought of herself. Not the innocent child who was at her mercy.

The similarities were scary.

I realized years later that I did not even begin to understand where my mother was in her life. How she got there. Why she felt and acted the way she did. At the time none of those things mattered because I was the smart one. I was the one who knew more about how life worked and the way things really were. It didn't matter if she was older and had lived through more, seen more, done more. That she had had more heartache, more pain, more disappointment than I had ever had or probably ever would have. She had had life experiences she had never told me about and I didn't learn about until after she was gone. But none of that mattered because I understood life more than she did and that was that.

And now I could hear it my own daughter's voice. All the things I thought and felt at her age were now bubbling out of her in the same frustration and anger that they had bubbled out of me.

And now I knew all the things my mom had felt. All the sadness and heartbreak and confusion about where these feelings could possibly have come from.

This was more confusing to me at this moment because two weeks before my daughter had been in town and everything seemed so wonderful and I felt so completely connected to her. We talked about the fun we used to have, going to the beach, shopping and laughing. I couldn't wait until she moved back to California and we could do it all again.

And now suddenly it was all gone.

I did not know why and I was at a loss as to what to do about it.

But as I have come to understand over the years, life is a fluid and changing entity. Happy and satisfied one moment and angry and vengeful the next. Two sides of the same coin. And if two people aren't standing next to one another then they each see a different side.

I will wait, with a heavy lonely heart much as my own mother had done. Before she got sick and grew increasingly weak with disease and eventually was taken far too young and in far too much pain and suffering for me to really heal the rift that had grown between us.

Now I can only wish for what never was. Wish for healing and for the opportunity to tell her I was sorry I said all those things. Felt all those things. That even though I thought I meant them at the time, I was wrong to have acted the way that I did. I can only ask forgiveness to the quiet empty night and hope she hears me and knows that I loved her with all my heart. And I now understand exactly how she felt and if I could take it all back I would.