Sunday, November 29, 2009

Can I has gun now?

Ahhhh family!

The holidays bring everyone together. Lots of cooking, reminiscing, cuddling babies, taking pictures, watching TV specials, gathering around the table for meals, warm crackling fires, yummy smells...

Theres a week of my life I'll never get back.

No seriously... I love my family... ADORE THEM..... I just don't tolerate some with the same calm patience that I do others..

Take my mother-in-law for example (no really go ahead help yourself). No matter how many times Jeff and I say that we will approach her visit with an air of acceptance and the knowledge that she does not live here and since we only see her a few times times a year, "how bad can one week be?", we quickly eat our words as we each end of up running for cover after the first few hours of her arrival.

There are so many stories... so many moments that I could share... but I will refrain from sounding like an bitchy daughter-in-law and only pass along this one recent event.

Tomorrow is Jeffrey's 9th birthday. Grandma wanted to take him out to lunch today so he decided on California Pizza Kitchen. In general they do not do anything special for birthdays but grandma wasn't gong to let that stop her. When we got there she grabbed the manager by the arm, dragging her aside to announce our celebration. The lady manager knows us as we have eaten there many times over the years. After she extracted herself from grandmas grip she smiled over at us and said "No worries, we will take care of everything".

After the meal, the waitress brought a HUGE sundae and placed it down in front of Jeffrey. He had to get up on his knees to blow out the candle.

I scooped some ice cream out for everybody and we were all enjoying it when suddenly loud and clear grandma announced:

"This is better than a blow job!"

Alex's spoon stopped in mid air, an ice cube flew out of Jeff's mouth and landed somewhere in front of Katherine, my eye started to twitch and a woman headed for the bathroom ran into a chair.

Jeff painfully swallowed the rest of his drink and wincing slightly noted "Well now THAT was something I didn't need to hear".

And if the younger two come up to me later and ask me what Grandma meant I will definitely have to use my favorite line "Go ask your father"......

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