Sunday, June 7, 2020

Every Time.

 My morning:

*Wrong password*

*Wrong password*

*Wrong password*

*Wrong password* 

FINE Change password

*New password cannot be the same as the old password*

How much longer until bedtime?

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Make America Great for the First Time

Growing up in Hollywood with parents in the business, I met people of every color and background. I went to Hollywood high which was a melting pot of kids from every walk of life.
It really never occurred to when I was younger that people didn't like each other because of how they looked or where they came from.
The older I became and further away from my roots I got the more I realized I had grown up in a bubble of acceptance and that's not what it was like in the "real" world.
The last few years the family has been in Phoenix (ugh, long story but hoping to be back in Cali at some point) and Jeff and I were driving for Lyft.
If you really want to get to know and talk to people that you have nothing in common with, this is the job for you.
I went into neighborhoods and picked people up who up until this point I never would have come in contact with. We would never shop in the same stores, eat in the same restaurants or even pass each other on the streets because our home bases were too far apart.
It was the most eye opening experience I have ever had. I would get a call to some of the poorest areas, the kind that if you were driving through at night you would lock your doors and step on it so you didn't get caught in the crossfire that you would be sure would be happening after dark.
The people who got into my car though were nothing like you imagine when you're a white middle class suburbanite. Most of the time they were just younger folk who were on their way to a minimum wage job hoping to make some money to help the family, many were on their way to local community colleges hoping to make a better life for themselves and a fair number were older (older than me) on their way to a doctors appointment and the ride was being paid for via their ACCESS insurance (what you have out here when you don't make much money).
I would ask every one how their day was going and let them carry the conversation to where ever it went. Sometimes by the time I dropped someone off I would know their entire life story. Many times it was heart wrenching.
I drove a young black girl once whose young baby died and she was arrested on suspicion of murder and she spent 3 months in jail until the coroners report exonerated her.
In the mean time her 2 year old went into foster care because there was no one else to care for her. The girl told me she had a very difficult time trying to get anyone to help her and was told outright that it would be easier if she wasn't black.
After I dropped her off I had to pull over and cry because of the unfairness of it all. Stuck in jail, one child dead and the other with strangers and never knowing if you would ever see her again.
It didn't occur to me at first that not everyone wanted to talk to me. On a number of occasion a black passenger would get in, I would smile and ask "How's your day going?" and I would get a very even measured "It's fine thank you" without meeting my eyes in the rear view mirror and I knew it was going to be a quiet ride. Thankfully I always had music to fill the silence but I couldn't help but feel like I represented a demographic that probably hadn't always been nice or kind or welcoming to the person in the past. I was a middle aged white lady and living in Phoenix it was more likely than not I was racist piece of shit who was only being “company nice”.
I totally got it.
When I would get older white people (especially men) in my car I generally knew that if we talked politics they would start extolling the wonders of Trump and stupidity of the Left (they figured I was just like them because in the long run most people judge you by the color of your skin before they even check to see if they are correct) and I would have to find a way to use the “Hey how about them Dodgers?” line to direct them away from their stupidity.
I wasn't sure if I was right about why some of the people didn't talk to me, some may have been having a bad day, maybe some didn't like to talk to strangers no matter what they looked like, but either way, I figured I would never know.
Until one day I picked up a younger black man from the airport and drove him 30+ miles home. We got to chatting about the weather both where he had flown in from and the blistering heat out here in Phoenix then somehow began skirting the state of the world. He asked me if I knew about some incident that had happened the last week and I told him that yes I had heard because every morning my husband would get up and read the news and tell me about every single thing happening in the government. And what the people in charge were doing.
“Your husband a big Trump fan, I would guess?” he asked.
“OH LORD, My husband hates Trump with every fiber of his being. As do I. We are sickened by the state of the world.”
Our eyes met in the mirror.
“OH MY GOSH” he said “ I like you so much better than I thought I was going to!”
We both started laughing and for the rest of the ride we talked about how much we hated where the world (America mostly) was going, and we each shared a few stories before I dropped him off.
“Thank you for not being like I thought” he said.
I didn't know what else to say but you're welcome. I wanted to say not all us white folks are like that but too many are. And for every one nice one there's another two or three assholes out there who are going to judge them, or discriminate against them or as we've tragically seen, kill them just because of how they look.
This whole story really doesn't have a point other than I'm just so devastated by whats going on right now and I wish to every one of the powers that be that things would change but it's going to take a whole lot of us standing in solidarity against the corruption and racism to get our voices heard.
We've got to vote out every single one of these mother humpers and create a whole new world because nothing in the past is worth going back to.
Maybe the motto should be "Make America Great for the First Time".


Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Leaning Tower of Charmin

Get a few rolls of toilet paper I said.
Enough so you won't run out I said.
Put them in your bathroom I said.
Which somehow translated into this.



Saturday, August 12, 2017

Thar she blows

How to give Katherine a nuclear meltdown:

Me: Is this your toothbrush on the left side of the sink in your bathroom?
Kat: Nope. Must be Jeffrey's. Mine is the purple one on the right.
Me: Jeffrey, is this YOUR toothbrush on the left side of the sink in your bathroom?
Jeffrey: Nope mine is the purple one on right
Kat (rushing out of her room): WAIT.... WHAT????? NOOOOOOOO!!! That's MINE!!! OMG OMG Have YOU been using MY toothbrush all this time??? OMG OMG That is SO gross.... YUCK YUCK YUCK.... MOM I NEED A NEW TOOTHBRUSH.... EW EW EW EW..... I'm just going to die. That's it. Life is over. 
She ran into her room, choking and gagging and slammed the door.

At least I now know why the toothbrush on the left never looked used.

And the answer is....

Two buses leave Kansas City going in opposite directions.

One is going 45 miles per hour and the other is going 55 miles per hour. How long until they are 400 miles apart?

This was on yesterday's Algebra 2 homework.

I NEVER believed they really had these kinds of questions in real life.

I was wrong.

The answer BTW was about 4 hours

Friday, July 7, 2017

Weather Report

Holy freakin' mother of crisco.....

It's 110° outside at 9 PM with winds that feel like they are blowing straight outta hell.

This now concludes your eyewitness weather report for the evening.

You're welcome.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Dessert Disappointment

I was mentally unprepared for the fact I had to eat my dessert without the creamy goodness I had been planning because the bottle of whipped cream that had been sitting in the fridge, tempting me, calling my name, promising me untold delights, instead elicited nothing but a few little drops of watery nothingness because whoever used it last either wanted to hide the fact that they used it up or they were too lazy to walk it over to the trash can.

When I asked around the general consensus was no one knew WHAT I was talking about and hurriedly changed the subject.