Nintendog Hell

Jeffrey and Katherine are sitting in their room discussing the countdown to Christmas.

I'm sitting in my room trying to think of a way to tell them that Santa had a labor dispute with his reindeer and there is a good chance he might not make it to our house this year.

Seriously.

This has been a week of one crisis after another.  I keep hanging on assuring myself that THAT one was the last one for the week and it can only get better from here.

The universe is laughing at my attempt at humor.

Just a little peace and quiet is all I'm asking for this morning. Just a tiny bit of time that I can take a few deep breaths and try to ready myself for whatever the universe feels like throwing my way next.

Apparently Nintendo has other plans.

Both kids have the game Ninten-dogs which was obviously designed by people who have never matured past 10 years old. It is a game played on the Nintendo handheld game system that allows you to adopt and train your very own puppy. And it has voice recognition so you can teach the little thing its name and make it do tricks and come when you call it etc etc.

Well my children have adopted dogs that listen as well as a 2 year old child.

All that has been seeping through the wall today has been a combination of voices asking, pleading, yelling, demanding and scolding their canine charge to obey them.

"Sit... Sit... Sit... Sit... Sit... Sit..."
"Lay down.... Lay down.... Lay down.... Lay down...."
"Come here.... Come here....Come here.... Come here...."
"Bad dog! NO NO NO NO!!!"

What sadistic game designer thought up this thing?

Finally Katherine decided that her dog was unteachable and erased her file and started over.

I imagine my own life with one of these options.... Hmmmmmm THIS last week hasn't worked out so well... lets go to the menu screen and click "Do-over" and see if I can improve on things.

Don't you wish.

But anyway.....

She chooses a small brown lab as her puppy and proceeds to name it Glob-a.

Jeffrey announces that this is the stupidest name he has ever heard.

"Well I think its a great name."

"Where did you think that up anyway?"

"In my head. Look at him..... Isn't he the cutest little brown puppy you've ever seen?"

"Yeah I guess his name makes sense.... he looks like a brown glob of..."

"JEFFREY!!!"

"What?"

"Knock it off!"

Lots grumbling..... "Well it sounds like a stupid name to me."

It appears someone isn't thinking of those good deeds and Christmas karma he was talking about earlier in the week.

Less than 2 minutes later, drifting through the wall, the naming ceremony begins to take place.

This is the part of the game where the owner must get the puppy to "learn" its name by repeating it 150 (thousand) times until either a small bell sounds indicating that the process is complete, or the parent who has had to listen to it tosses the game out the window and hopes a car runs over it before the kids can retrieve it.

"Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a...
Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a...
Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a...
Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a... Glob-a..."

Over and over in monotone.

"KATHERINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What...? Oh dang now I gotta start over."

No... no really you don't.

I talked her into watching a Christmas special on TV (WAY down the hall) just so I can try to collect my brains that have oozed out my ears and are littered all over the room.

If I make it through this holiday season with my mental state in tact it is going to be a Christmas miracle.