Thursday, September 2, 2010

Crash Boom BANG!

Today I am a magnet and all things inconvenient and unnecessary are iron.

Placing a bike on a rolled up hose directly outside a bedroom window and then leaving it there without regard to how stable it is, is extremely unnecessary and becomes quickly inconvenient when handle of said bike decides to get up close and personal with said window.

"WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?????"

A vast silence falls over the house.

This house is never this quiet unless no one is in it.

Or they are trying to avoid detection.

"HELLO?????"

I can hear the grass growing.

Suddenly Alex's voice, high and panicked...."Don't touch anything!! Oh my lord, what happened?? Who put the bike through the window?"

Well now I know what the sound was.

Cue Jeffrey appearing through the sliding door on the opposite side of the house. He's trying to look nonchalant and innocent but his face is sweaty and his eyes are red and swollen.

"Jeffrey did you drop your bike against the window?"

"Ummmmm... ummmmmm.... no, I mean I don't think so.... I mean..... ummmmmm"

Long pause punctuated by huge watery tears springing from his eyes and dribbling down his face.

He suddenly flings himself against me, wrapping his arms around my waist and burying his face in my shirt.

"I'M SORRY!!! I'M SO SORRY!!!! DADDY IS GOING TO KILL ME!!!!"

 I think there must be secret classes for kids where they teach them how to evoke so much sympathy when they do something wrong that it's hard to stay mad at them.

I was really groping for something to write about and I was pretty OK with the fact that I was going to skip a day.

But I guess the universe didn't like that idea.

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