Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Backseat Bottom Blaster

Riding in the car with my crew can be a bit, um, difficult from time to time.

If I don't separate the partners in crime, some mornings I spend most of the car ride repeating one of the following:

"Knock it off"

"Cool it"

 "Jeffrey" "What?" "HUSH".

"What are you doing?" often followed by "Why are you doing THAT?"

"Katherine, what did I just tell you?" "To stop talking" "then what should you do?"
"Stop talking?" Her deduction skills are remarkable for her age.

Honestly children, it's early, and in most case I haven't had my coffee which means I'm not fully awake and therefore cannot tolerate a space battle (complete with blow by blow coverage and sound effects) being waged at 7:20 AM in my back seat.

Also, just in case you've forgotten.... we drive the same way every day, so it really is unnecessary for you  to ask "Are we there yet?" when we've only been in the car 2 minutes.

 You might think they had that one figured out.

If only I could install the handy dandy device I thought up years and years ago when my older ones were this age.

It's quite simple really... in the cushion of the seat I would install something that sends out a small electrical buzz and it would be attached to a handy dandy button within reach on the dashboard. Each backseat would have it's own button.

Feel like being noisy after you're told to stop?  ZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT!!!!

Feel like fighting with your seat mate after it's been pointed out no one wants to hear it?  ZAAAPPPPP!!!!

Feel like complaining (for the 4th or 5th time) that you are starving and we aren't getting home fast enough?  ZOOOWIEEEEEE!!!!

I have a feeling that no one will feel like doing any of those much longer.

Yeah Yeah I know... it's already been pointed out to me that some parent group (or maybe even the Dept  of Health and Human Services) might take objection to this and try to ban me from having them installed on all family model cars....

But I can dream can't I?

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