Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Great Front Seatini Blows a Fuse

Once again the Great Front Seatini is being called upon to see into the future, look into the past, make sense out of the present and in general spout knowledge that no one but she could possibly know. Or want to know, but that's completely beside the point.

"What is it that I can help you with today my son?"

"I was thinking......"

"Uh oh..  I mean go on...."

"I was thinking about how many presents I am going to get for Christmas.
I know the amount I get is based on how good I have been."

"I always thought it was based on how much money we had in the bank... but anyway... go on."

"So I was adding up all sorts of things.
There are 25 days until Christmas and if I do a good deed every day until then that should count for something.
But then I was also thinking that there may have been a few times that I wasn't so good."

(Do tell)

"Like there might have been once or twice that I wasn't as nice to Katherine as I could have been"

"Really, only once or twice?"

"Then there was those few times I didn't clean my room up when you told me too."

"Just a few huh?"

"So can you help me with the math?"

"Is this regular 1 + 1 stuff or the new math?"

"If I am good for 25 days, then take off maybe 3 or 4 days from the past that I wasnt so good..."

"I see you are being rather generous to yourself..."

"Then I take into account how much I WANT to be good and multiply those days by that.... then maybe I can do some extra credit on a few days too... and add those in... and I know you have to pay Santa for the gifts so I wouldn't want you to have to spend too much.... so maybe we could divide all this by some number to take into account how much it all costs and then I wanted to add in the number of gifts that Katherine and I get as joint gifts because those count too.
So if you do all that, how many gifts do you think I'm going to get for Christmas?"

We're sorry the Great Front Seatini has blown a fuse and must close for repairs.
Please try back in 24 hours to see if the circuits have reset themselves.
Thank you for your patronage.

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