Monday, January 30, 2012

Search Terms From the Twilight Zone

Because I tend to be nosy (just ask anyone) I occasionally check out who is visiting my blog.

I have traffic counters that tell me what city or country viewers come from and also how they got here. Such as links I posted, if they were just browsing Blogger, or if they typed in certain key words.

The most popular searchs that land people here are: "are mermaids real?" "real mermaids found" "photos (or videos) of real mermaids".

Yep, you read that right. REAL mermaids.

This is because I have a Disney post chronicling the Submarine Voyage at Disneyland and it features pictures of the "real" mermaids who used to sit in the lagoon and wave at the people as they passed by.

Apparently there are hundreds of people out there in Google Search-land that think there is proof of living mermaids right here on the internet. And the 5000+ hits on my blog post prove it.

But I also have other off the wall terms that have brought people to my little corner of the world.

Just from the last week I found the following items listed on the "how they got here" page:

The Future (of what and why was my blog ranked second on the search results? Do I know more than I think I do? Should I go and buy lottery tickets? I need to know!)

Spring break adventure stories nude (OK I did write a post titled "Spring Break Adventures" but nowhere did I include the word NUDE or any pictures featuring anyone or anything NUDE. I did go back and check it out though just to be sure)

If kids were cats (I'd need more litter boxes)

Summer pictures; love on the beach (I did post a whole bunch of summer beach pictures but it was more goofballs on the beach as opposed to love)

Weird but true facts about losing weight (lots of weird but true around here, but not much about losing weight... even though I am trying)

Flying Saucer Girl (Obviously they were looking for that picture of me in the sexy little astronaut uniform)

Japanese Porn (I have a entry entitled Sushi Porn, so I guess it's sort of the same thing)

My Pony My Friend (well alrighty then...)

Situations where you would never give up or never surrender (seriously.. I cant make this stuff up)

INDIen ceaf vilige Disney pic (not sure how Google got them routed around to the pictures of the Indian Village Disney Chiefs, but apparently they figured it out.. on the plus side, they DID spell Disney right)

Jeffrey plays video games (even though this is a well known fact, I am unclear as to the reasons behind this search)

Rear end accidents at autopia Disney Photos (I thought I destroyed all those... who told?)

The list could go on for quite a bit longer but as you can see there is no end to the off the wall things people search for. And for some reason some of those searches land people here. I hope some stay and have a look around, even if it wasn't what they were looking for... We enjoy the company!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

A really bad, awful, terribly horrible day

There is nothing subtle about Jeffrey.

I guess if you read this with any regularity you would know that.

Last Friday I picked him up from school (Katherine had gone to Gabby's for a sleepover). When he got into the car he announced that this had the been the worst day of his life. It was so bad in fact that he didnt even know if could talk about it.

That sentiment of course did not last long.

He said the day started out with great promise as it was Friday and the class has hot chocolate every Friday morning. With the enthusiasm this causes, you might think he didn't have hot chocolate as a dessert choice every night at home.

But that's beside the point.

So his morning of great promise went straight downhill when *somehow* his cup got knocked over before he got even 2 drinks and went all over the desk, into his lap and onto the floor. He had to spend the whole time he would have been drinking nirvana by soaking up the mess with paper towels.

"AND THEN" (he said so loud that I winced)..... "the worst possible thing happened.... I was sitting there minding my own business quietly doing my math,"

(I refrained from verifying the authenticity of  exactly what he meant by *quiet*)

"When my teacher came by my chair and stopped to answer someone's question. You know there isn't very much room between the chairs right? And you know that my teacher is, ummm.... well she is bigger than the space between the chairs right?" (This was his attempt to be polite) "So when she finished answering the question and turned around she knocked me clean out of my chair with her butt. (pause) Everyone laughed at me. (pause) I was mortified. (pause) I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SHOW MY FACE BACK IN CLASS AGAIN!"

Nice try kid. You still have to go to school.

I was also trying very hard not to laugh out loud.

"MOM! Its not funny!"

"I'm sorry, you're right it's not. I imagine your teacher was a bit embarrassed too."

"Are you kidding? She yelled at me for fooling around. I don't think she even felt the impact.
My life is over."

"Would it help if you had something yummy when you got home and then you can play Little Big Planet?"

"I guess so. But I think I may be scarred for life."

As I said, subtlety is not one of his defining characteristics... but he does provide quite a bit of comic relief to my day.