Saturday, October 17, 2015

No Food for the Hungry

Food warm. Drink poured. Settling down to have lunch at my desk. One bite. Two bites....
"MOM..I'm hungry!!!"
"Jeffrey I just sat down, my food is hot, please wait 10 minutes and I will fix you lunch."
"But MOOOOOOOM, I'm starving now." 
I can see you wasting away as we speak.
"Jeffrey I will fix you food in 10 minutes and if you can't wait that long then make yourself something."
Long silence followed by grumbling off into the distance.
OK, back to food.
One bite. Two bites....
"Hey Honey, are you at your desk?"
"Check weather underground to see if the rain is coming, I have to go out and work".
"OK"... click, click, wait for page to load.... "Yes, storm headed this way, almost on top of us"
Suddenly surrounded by husband and children leaning over my desk, to look at the radar and discuss the impending weather.
"Guys, I'm trying to eat here."
"That's OK, you're not bothering us...." 
Discussion continues.
Finally I am alone.
Food is still moderately warm.
One bite... two bites....
"Hey Honey, where are the wire ties?"
"In the garage, if you can wait 10 minutes I will get one for you".
"No, just tell me where you put them."
(In a very hard to find place that would take me longer to explain than to get up myself and get them).
Start to get up but hear "NO NO, it's ok... I'll find them....".
Sit back down, one bite, second bite pending...
Voice directly behind me from the couch:
"Hi... how are YOU?"
I turn around to see Jeffrey leaning over the back of the couch practically upside down.
"Jeffrey, I'm eating."
"That's not how you are... How ARE you?"
"I'm hungry and TRYING to finish my food before it gets cold."
"But besides hungry, how ARE you?"
"JEFFREY, I am HUNGRY, I am trying to EAT, my food is now COLD and all I want is 5 minutes in peace to finish it. Can I have 5 minutes PLEASE?"
"GEEZ mom you don't have to get so upset... I'm just trying to be friendly. I'll just go sit over here, alone... and hungry."
I need a vacation.

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