Friday, August 26, 2016

The Neighborhood Catfather

We have an asshole neighborhood cat whose asshole owner allows to roam freely so he can come to our door and spray it with his "I own this" pheromone stink.

He has been doing this since we moved in.

It took me awhile to figure out why my indoor cats would sit for hours staring at the front door as if waiting for the appearance of The Virgin Kitty.

I have recently been trying to figure out ways to stop this feline delinquent from causing my stoop to smell like an uncleaned litter box. Soaking the screen door with different fragrances and enzymes to discourage him seems to have started a mob war.

Yesterday morning as we were leaving for school, there on the front walk was a decapitated pigeon. The cat equivalent of a horse head. A warning of what might happen to me and my loved ones if I didn't stop trying to infringe on his weekly ritual of ownership.

I have yet to clean it up because frankly, I don't want to go near it. No one else in the house wants to go near it either.

Maybe if I ignore it, some other cat will come and take it away and we can pretend it never happened. 

In the meantime I have to decide between wanting a clean fresh smelling entrance, or worrying about my families safety.

I thought decisions like these were only found in literature and movies. 

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