Search Terms From the Twilight Zone

Because I tend to be nosy (just ask anyone) I occasionally check out who is visiting my blog.

I have traffic counters that tell me what city or country viewers come from and also how they got here. Such as links I posted, if they were just browsing Blogger, or if they typed in certain key words.

The most popular searchs that land people here are: "are mermaids real?" "real mermaids found" "photos (or videos) of real mermaids".

Yep, you read that right. REAL mermaids.

This is because I have a Disney post chronicling the Submarine Voyage at Disneyland and it features pictures of the "real" mermaids who used to sit in the lagoon and wave at the people as they passed by.

Apparently there are hundreds of people out there in Google Search-land that think there is proof of living mermaids right here on the internet. And the 5000+ hits on my blog post prove it.

But I also have other off the wall terms that have brought people to my little corner of the world.

Just from the last week I found the following items listed on the "how they got here" page:

The Future (of what and why was my blog ranked second on the search results? Do I know more than I think I do? Should I go and buy lottery tickets? I need to know!)

Spring break adventure stories nude (OK I did write a post titled "Spring Break Adventures" but nowhere did I include the word NUDE or any pictures featuring anyone or anything NUDE. I did go back and check it out though just to be sure)

If kids were cats (I'd need more litter boxes)

Summer pictures; love on the beach (I did post a whole bunch of summer beach pictures but it was more goofballs on the beach as opposed to love)

Weird but true facts about losing weight (lots of weird but true around here, but not much about losing weight... even though I am trying)

Flying Saucer Girl (Obviously they were looking for that picture of me in the sexy little astronaut uniform)

Japanese Porn (I have a entry entitled Sushi Porn, so I guess it's sort of the same thing)

My Pony My Friend (well alrighty then...)

Situations where you would never give up or never surrender (seriously.. I cant make this stuff up)

INDIen ceaf vilige Disney pic (not sure how Google got them routed around to the pictures of the Indian Village Disney Chiefs, but apparently they figured it out.. on the plus side, they DID spell Disney right)

Jeffrey plays video games (even though this is a well known fact, I am unclear as to the reasons behind this search)

Rear end accidents at autopia Disney Photos (I thought I destroyed all those... who told?)

The list could go on for quite a bit longer but as you can see there is no end to the off the wall things people search for. And for some reason some of those searches land people here. I hope some stay and have a look around, even if it wasn't what they were looking for... We enjoy the company!

A really bad, awful, terribly horrible day

There is nothing subtle about Jeffrey.

I guess if you read this with any regularity you would know that.

Last Friday I picked him up from school (Katherine had gone to Gabby's for a sleepover). When he got into the car he announced that this had the been the worst day of his life. It was so bad in fact that he didnt even know if could talk about it.

That sentiment of course did not last long.

He said the day started out with great promise as it was Friday and the class has hot chocolate every Friday morning. With the enthusiasm this causes, you might think he didn't have hot chocolate as a dessert choice every night at home.

But that's beside the point.

So his morning of great promise went straight downhill when *somehow* his cup got knocked over before he got even 2 drinks and went all over the desk, into his lap and onto the floor. He had to spend the whole time he would have been drinking nirvana by soaking up the mess with paper towels.

"AND THEN" (he said so loud that I winced)..... "the worst possible thing happened.... I was sitting there minding my own business quietly doing my math,"

(I refrained from verifying the authenticity of  exactly what he meant by *quiet*)

"When my teacher came by my chair and stopped to answer someone's question. You know there isn't very much room between the chairs right? And you know that my teacher is, ummm.... well she is bigger than the space between the chairs right?" (This was his attempt to be polite) "So when she finished answering the question and turned around she knocked me clean out of my chair with her butt. (pause) Everyone laughed at me. (pause) I was mortified. (pause) I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SHOW MY FACE BACK IN CLASS AGAIN!"

Nice try kid. You still have to go to school.

I was also trying very hard not to laugh out loud.

"MOM! Its not funny!"

"I'm sorry, you're right it's not. I imagine your teacher was a bit embarrassed too."

"Are you kidding? She yelled at me for fooling around. I don't think she even felt the impact.
My life is over."

"Would it help if you had something yummy when you got home and then you can play Little Big Planet?"

"I guess so. But I think I may be scarred for life."

As I said, subtlety is not one of his defining characteristics... but he does provide quite a bit of comic relief to my day.

Details, Details

Today was a shopping day. It's getting a little too close to Christmas and I have a little too little done for my tastes.

Sarah decided she was going to come with me and before we left I laid out EXACTLY what I was going to do to Jeff and told him I would call him at some point in my travels so he knew what time to expect me home. If I dont do this he will call and ask if I got lost or fell into a black hole because he can never understand how shopping can take so long.

He is one of these "pick something and buy it" guys. No patience to look around.

He is also pretty sick and has had a fever off and on for 3 days so he is grouchy and out of sorts anyway.

After the first 2 stores I call him and tell him I'm on my way to Home Depot to get the Christmas tree and then will stop at the market to pick him up him something to drink. I also start to tell him about a few of the things I've gotten so far.

He interrupts me and says "I don't want to hear all the details... just get everything done and come home".

I hung up and stuck my tongue out at the phone. Very mature I know.

Sarah and I got to Home Depot and start looking for a tree... She holds one up and I look at it, then I hold it up and she looks at it. We trade opinions until we find the perfect one. Not like when I take Jeff and he wants the first tree we pull out of the pile. We pay for it, stuff it into the back of the van and head for the market. We hurry through some quick shopping to get stuff so I can make cookies and other yummies this week, as well as the requested drink. As we are pulling out of the parking lot my phone rings.

I am greeted with a very dejected voice on the other end: "Exactly one hour and a minute ago you said you were coming home."

"Exactly one hour and a minute ago I said I was going to get a tree and go to the market... now I am 5 minutes from home."

"Oh OK...sorry.. I must have missed that part".

No kidding!

See what happens when you don't want to hear all the details?

Love You, Mean It ~~ A Tribute to a Beautiful Soul.

I lost a friend very unexpectedly this week. Not that any of us at my age (mid 40's) EXPECTS to lose someone. And not that that person was expecting it either. But its just so much of a shock when things like this happen that your brain can't quite wrap itself around the fact that a person can up and die and leave behind a family, friends and so many unrealized hopes and dreams and then life and everyone they left behind has to go on without them.

The circumstances of my friends death are not entirely clear yet. She was having some health issues and had been in and out of the hospital over the past week. But there didn't seem to be any indication that things couldn't be fixed. Until they couldn't. And she was gone. Just like that. Here one day, gone the next.

She left behind several young adult children who are of course much more devastated than I am. They have lost their mother. The one who was supposed to be there to guide them through the still difficult years of youth. To hold her children's babies, to soothe them when they are crying, and to watch them grow into adults as she grew into old age.

How many times can I yell at the universe that life isn't fair? Asking why a life has to be cut short when there was so much more to do? Surely the sole purpose of my friend's life was not a lesson for the rest us that if we don't get our shit together the same thing could happen to us. She was much more than that.

As I go back and read the things that she had been writing about recently, I realized I was not going to find any clues that she knew this was coming. If any of us knew tragedy was on the horizon we would certainly change the way we were living our last moments. Get our ducks in a row, heal old wounds, take that vacation we've been putting off, buy ourselves that pair of shoes we've been eyeing. Because we would know that life was indeed shorter than we think and we better enjoy what we have and fix whats broken right now because no matter who you are, we all come with an expiration date. And the thought we always have tomorrow to do or fix what we want may not come.

My heart is beyond sad. She and I shared a lot in common. We both had oldest sons named Chris. Who both went into the Air Force to become crew chiefs for F-16 fighter jets. They both had sons (our first grandchildren) within a year of each other. We also both had 2 daughters of similar ages. We were both remarried with step kids (I had 2, she had one). And we both loved to write and maintained a blog (Hers: http://delswife-stories.blogspot.com/).

She was a much better writer than I was. So much more funny and the words seemed to roll off her fingers with much less effort than it took me. She loved Disney as much as I do and in an ironic twist, she died on Walt's birthday. She wrote REAL trip reports (not just a bunch of pictures strung together with a few words) that kept you laughing out loud and coming back for more. Her first report seen here without the original pictures as they got lost a few years back and she never got around to fixing them: http://www.abbycandlesmi.com/delswife_trip_report.pdf was what started some of her popularity. I met many people and good friends because of her and I cannot express the how grateful I am for her to have touched my life.

I wish I could reach out and ease the pain her family must be going through. Because if I am as sad as am, nothing but a casual acquaintance who spent just a small portion of my life interacting with her, I cannot imagine the depth to the sorrow of the people who spent daily lives with her, knowing her, loving her... having her enrich their lives with her humor, kindness and ability to see the best in people and in life no matter what the circumstances.

All I can say is:
Robin... you will be missed more than you ever imagined possible.
There will be a emptiness where you used to be that no one else will ever be able to fill in quite the same way that you did.

Love You , Mean It
LYMI

Horn Tuskers

There comes a time in your life when you realize you take certain knowledge for granted.
There are things you figure everyone knows so it's a bit of a reality check when you discover not everyone is as well informed as you are.


Katherine: Today was Colonial Day so we made dolls out of things like they did in the old days.
Me: Really, what did you make them out of?
Katherine: Out of the horn of a tusker something or other...
Me: A what?
Katherine (sensing the disbelief in my voice) : Ummm maybe I got that wrong maybe it was a tusk of a horny something..
Me: I don't think that's right either...
Katherine: Well I forget what Ms Sendejas said.. or maybe I wasn't paying attention (SHOCKER) but is was definitely out of some kind of growth from some kind of animal.
Me: Why don't you just show me what you made....
She brings out the doll
Me: Katherine...  these are CORN HUSKS... they cover corn while it is growing... You peel it off before you eat it and it gets hard and turns this light tan color. This does not come from an animal.
Katherine: OOOOOHHHHhhhhhh... I thought you peeled it off some kind of growth that some animal had growing out of its face... like a unicorn or something.
Me: Face palm.

Way Back Wednesday ~ Vintage Star Trek Toy Commercials

So many times the geek in me comes out but I can't help it!
Not only do I love vintage stuff, but vintage Star Trek stuff is even better!
Enjoy these old commercials!

Saturday in the Car Park

I was at Costco the other day, picking up our weekly supply of Family Size items, herding the kids around and trying to get done as quickly as possible.

We made it into the parking lot and I was feeling pretty good about how well everything had gone.
I didn't lose anyone, I didn't have to yell at anyone, 

I didn't drop a 25 pound bag of flour on the floor and then have to pretend it wasn't me. Just overall a good shopping trip.

We were about half way down one of the parking aisles when I realized I couldn't remember where I parked.
I stopped so fast Katherine ran right into me.

"OW MOM!"

 I tried to say I was using it as a real world example of what momentum was... you know, any opportunity is a teaching opportunity I always say.

No the kids didn't buy it either.

Not wanting to let on that I had been overcome with sudden onset Alzheimer's I tried to act nonchalant and began digging for my keys.

"Mom, did you forget where we parked?"

Nothing gets past Jeffrey.

"No, did you?"

I was trying to remember something about where I parked. Was I going up or down? Was I parked near tree? A sign? The basket return?

And I tell my kids to pay attention.

The lot was a giant ocean and my car was lost, adrift on the current.

I found my keys and performed the classic "Hold them over your head and hope you see some lights flashing or hear horns honking" routine.

Nothing.

This is when I realized there had been a lady creeping along next to me apparently waiting to score my spot.

This didn't make her happy so she floored it up the aisle and out of sight.

"Hey mom I think that lady was waving at you."

Yeah, the one finger wave. My favorite.

I turned around and realized that a parade of other cars had formed behind me.

 I crossed through the parked cars pretending that I suddenly remembered where I was.

Two cars took off at top speed and tried to beat each other around to other aisle.

A-HA! There it is! I saw it!

I rushed forward, clicking "open" on my key ring and grabbed the back handle of the door only to have my fingers bend backwards, break a nail and realize this was not my van.

Why do so many people drive blue Honda minivans out here?

Another line of cars had begun to form and the kids were looking at me and I was becoming a stressed mess.
I waved the cars away "NO. NO I'm not leaving, just came to the car get to get something, I'm going back inside".

"Why do we have to go back in?" Jeffrey whined. "I thought we were done?  Mom? Mom?"

Now my only choice is trudge up and down the aisles and I'm annoyed because I'm sweating all over my clean shirt, my groceries are going to be a melted mess by the time I get them home and the kids now know for sure that their mother is not perfect.

Yes up until this very moment my children have thought of me as a combination of Einstein and the virgin Mary... a genius without faults.

It's true and you cant tell me otherwise.

Suddenly all the way at the end of one of the aisles that I swear I have never driven down in my life, I spot the blue boat. I rush forward, click my keys, hear the honk and feel the joy of a kid on Christmas morning.

I load the kids in, load the groceries in and then some jerk honks at me because I'm taking too long.

I hurry into the drivers seat, back out, pretend Im not driving a minivan and pass him like I'm on the Indy Speedway.

"Hey mom.. that guy was waving at you too."

Yeah, I know... There seems to be a lot of that going on lately.