Sunday, January 18, 2009

Craig's List

The wonder of wonders!

Want something gone..... Post it on Craig's list and the phone will start ringing.

But beware of the dark side.

People who want your stuff but only on their terms.

First there's the people who call for the free stuff you are giving away.

These people are always a little on the odd side wearing light blue leisure suits or mumus and often showing up in a 70's van or an AMC Gremlin.

They will call you at 11 PM at night or 7 AM on a Sunday morning. Unbridled avarice knows no courtesy.

And when they arrive to pick up said free item they will then proceed to ask 500 questions, walk around the item, stare at the item, touch the item, turn it upside, shake their head, and tell you they aren't really sure if they want it or not.

Then they want know if you can drive it over to their house. Or if you can hold it for a week or two until they borrow their cousin's truck. Or if you can load it for them when they do borrow their cousin's truck.

COME ON PEOPLE..... its free. I am giving it away because I no longer want to deal with. I don't want to take it to you, hold it for you, or load it for you.

If you want it and it's free you should be thanking me and not trying to figure out how to make me work for you. Also, if its free, you can pretty much assume that its not in pristine, show room quality condition. Don't look surprised or disappointed when you notice it has a few flaws. I am not going to pay you to take it, so take it or leave it, but make up your mind.

Then there are the people who are willing to buy things from you. This automatically make them suspicious of the item you are selling. Over the phone they demand exact dimensions, complete history, and names of previous owners, if any.

NEWS FLASH: I have placed the ad on the appropriate LOCAL Graig's List to make it easy for you to come on by and take a look for yourself. BUT do not drive for an hour then complain to me that the color is closer to mahogany then to cherry and therefore does not match your decor and now you have to drive all the way home empty handed. If you are decorating your home with $20 used items, you might want to lower your standards just a touch.

And then there are the people who call after you have promised the item to someone else but before that someone has come to pick it up.

Let me make this clear: No I will not let you rush over and see if you can get there first because you clearly want it more than they do. I also will not give you my address so you can come and wait outside in case the other person doesn't show up or doesn't take it, thereby assuring you are next in line.

If I tell you I will call you if the other person does not show up.... I really mean it. Don't get mad and yell that I'm lying because no one ever calls you back. Perhaps if you had a better attitude? Just a thought.

There are also those who will call and become ecstatic that you have just the item they are looking for. They will take your address and give you an exact time they will be there and make you promise not to let anyone else have it because OMG this is like SO perfect!

And of course they do not show up.

I really shouldn't complain though. If it weren't for these people I don't know what I would do with the stuff.

Most stuff is pretty decent, but is taking up too much space and I want it gone. I just don't want to deal with the riff raff. Just come pick it up, I don't care what you do with it, you don't have to tell me what you are going to do with it,  just don't give me a hard time in the process.

 I'm glad its out of my life and into yours.

Heres a couple of pictures of some of my Riff Raff.....
But they're mine so I forgive them

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