Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Competitive Competition

Stop looking at me
Don't tell me what to do
Then stop looking at me
MOM Katherine is telling me what to do
MOM Jeffrey is looking at me and not eating his oatmeal

Ahh breakfast! Such a relaxing way to start the day.

Competition is something I am not accustomed to. I grew up as an only child (had siblings elsewhere but that's a different story). So I was always number one, chose what to watch on TV, sat where I wanted to sit in the car, had mom and dads attention when I wanted it. Yes I was a spoiled little princess but I didn't know it at the time.

It was a bit of a shock when I had kids and they started trying to one up each other (and anyone else for that matter) in any way that they could.

One fine school morning

Friend: "OW what happened to your knee"

Katherine: "I fell down on the sidewalk. You should see how big the boo-boo is under the band aid."

Friend: "Ive had one bigger than that and didn't even use a band aid."

Immediately Katherine starts running though the list of her past boo-boos not wanting to let anyone think they had suffered more than she had.

She upped the ante. "One time I fell down and scraped my knee AND my elbow both at the same time. I didn't let my mom put a band aid on either one of them"

"WOW... that was like the one time I fell down scraped my knee, elbow AND cut my chin open. See I still have the scar"

Katherine scowled. Apparently flashing a scar trumped her not wearing a band aid. Time to pull out the big guns.

"One time when I was in Russia, I ran into a wall and knocked my front tooth all the way out of my mouth."

She smiled and triumphantly scooped up her backpack, confidant she thrown the winning punch.

"Well at least it grew back.... Last year my brother dropped a brick on my toe and the nail came off and now it will never grow back."

OOOoooo knockout! She was down for the count.

But it was not all in vain. She may have lost that fight but she was gaining valuable knowledge in how to one up your opponent. Knowledge she routinely used on Jeffrey.

Jeffrey flashes his piece of candy. "Look what I got from school for having the most table points"

"Wow that's great. I got 3 pieces just like that, and a cupcake and some punch because we had a party in our room with balloons"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeffrey: " Look at how many French fries I got...  more than you did"

"That is a lot but my cheeseburger is bigger than yours and see how much cheese is oozing out the sides. I cant even see your cheese"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But Jeffrey is learning from the best so often, when she least expects it, she gets broadsided by own her creation.

Katherine: "Look at how big my Lego building is"

Jeffrey: "Mine is big too"

Katherine: "Yes but mine is bigger.. I'm bigger than you so that means I can make taller."

By now she is hoarding the bricks and shooting Jeffrey building tips that she assures him he is not yet old enough to master.

Jeffrey: "I could make mine as big as yours if I wanted to...."

Katherine: "No, you can't but that's OK... one day you will be able to make something as big as this but then I will still be older and taller so mine will be bigger and higher then yours anyway."

She is building as fast as she can so he cannot catch up to her.

Jeffrey contemplates tattling on her but instead starts breaking his bricks up and putting them into the bin.

Apparently he hears the freezer opening...

I call them for ice cream: "Are your toys put away?"

Jeffrey: "Mine are, but Katherine's aren't"

Katherine shoots him a look

Jeffrey helpfully points out: "Hers are all over the place"

Katherine:" Jeffrey! Help me put them away"

Jeffrey: "I put mine away while you were still building. I guess you were right. Your building was bigger than mine. It's sure going to take a long time to put all those bricks away."

Ahh the sweet taste of ice cream flavored revenge.


K: I'm taller than you
J: I'm cuter than YOU
K: Mom likes me better than you
J: Stop choking me
K: Don't lick my neck