Saturday, June 25, 2011

Saturday Shenanigans


Saturday morning dawned bright and way too early.

Jeff had to go to Coronado to help with a Black Belt grading and he left at 6 AM. I was excited because I figured this would give me an opportunity to sleep in. Yeah right. 7 AM and I am up, brewing coffee and walking the dog in the beach fog that reached all the way to our house.

But I figured it wouldn't be all bad. I could snuggle up on the sofa and have my coffee, watch Through the Wormhole with Morgan Freeman and just in general relax in the calm peaceful morning silence.

Yeah, I live in Fantasyland.

By 8 AM the happy sounds of too much time and not enough to do had already started drifting out of the bedroom at the end of the hall.

Have you met my children... Mr & Mrs Ridiculous?

"KATHERINE!!"

"JEFFREY!!"

OK they know each others names.

"TURN THAT DOWN! I CANT HEAR!"

"WHY DON'T YOU TURN YOURS DOWN BECAUSE I CANT HEAR?"

"KATHERINE! I have to hear when I throw my fishing pole in the water. Fishing is a quiet sport."

"Exactly... so turn your sound down and it will be quiet."

"NOOOOO! I have to be able to HEAR!"

"I thought you said it was quiet? If it's quiet what do you have to hear??"

"You're so mean.. MOM!!! Katherine is being mean."

"I AM NOT!"

OK scratch quiet couch time.

I figured I would take a shower because that would certainly be relaxing. Warm water, closed behind 2 doors with no one to bother me.

Yes, exactly what I needed.

There is such a fine line between needing and getting.

I did make it all the way behind 2 closed doors and into the warm water but that's when it sort of went all wrong.

Now if any of you read this often enough you know that I often jump to irrational conclusions.
One such example chronicled here.
One might think I would learn my lesson but I'm living proof that hasn't happened yet.

So there I am basking in the glory of the hot water, leaning my head back, closing my eyes as the warmth flows over my head and down my back, rinsing the delicious smelling shampoo out of my hair when it happened.

Something touched my leg. It was just a light touch at first, almost a caress. Felt like a finger starting at my thigh and moving down towards my knee. My first irrational thought was that Jeffrey had come into the bathroom and opened the door and was trying to get my attention, but as I peeked open one eye I realized the shower door was still closed so that highly unlikely scenario was ruled out. I squeezed my eyes shut and started to panic. I moved my leg slightly towards the opposite wall and the light caress turned into a full on push and scraping past my knee and down onto my calf. If it weren't for the fact that whatever it was was between me and the door I would have bolted, soaking wet and naked out of the bathroom, down the hall and into the living room and worry about scarring the children for life later when it was all over.

All I could do was jump sideways into the wall, yelping loud enough for the neighbors to wonder if they should call 911 and then listen to the extremely loud crashing noise as I forced myself to open my eyes, look down and figure out that the 2 foot high zombie that had somehow materialized in the shower with me was actually the shower stand that had fallen over and landed against my leg.

There were bottles and things everywhere. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, shaving gel, a bar of soap, a razor. There was no place left to stand because the entire shower floor was one big mess.

I'm not really sure if I was more relived or irritated. Why on earth do I panic so quickly?
It's really embarrassing.

Seriously I need more calm relaxing moments in my life to help steady my hyperactive imagination.

But considering it's only the 3rd week of June and the kids don't go back to school until the 3rd week of August, I'm not likely to be getting much of that any time soon.

And to top it off, I've got this great plan for today... it's called taking the kids shopping.

Yeah, I thought that through.

I'll let you tomorrow if I survive.




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