Captain Mom

Sometimes the backseat is in a completely different dimension than the front seat.

Driving along on what seemed like a perfectly ordinary day, suddenly out of nowhere I hear:

"Self destruct in:

5
4
3
2...."

"Jeffrey?"

"Yes?"

"What's going on?"

"Self destruct mode has been activated"

"Yes. I got that............. but why?"

"The aliens are closing in and they cannot be allowed to intercept our technology."

"Oh."

I had no idea that a Honda van was so valuable to other civilizations.

"Jeffrey..."

"Yes?"

"Why can't you just jump to lightspeed?

Am I having this conversation?

"The jump engines are malfunctioning"

Yes I thought I felt something a bit off when I turned the corner back there.

"OH and you can't fix them?"

"Not in time to save the technology from the aliens.
Self destruct is the only option"

Unfortunate for those of us that didn't make it to the escape pods.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Can I finish? We're almost to the market and I want to get this over with before we get there."

"What if some of  us aren't ready to give our life in the line of duty?"

"This is the price you pay when you are a starship captain on a dangerous mission through the universe."

See and here I thought I was just a run of the mill mom on her way to get groceries.
I learn something new every day.

I found a recent picture of me in my Spaceship Captains suit with my totally awesome ray gun.
Maybe this isn't so bad after all!!

Knaggs Berry Towne

On Wednesday I mentioned my parents property on Ventura Blvd in Studio City called Knaggs Berry Towne.
My parents bought it in the late 1960's.

It was a small motel probably from the 1940's that had about 8 units each with a double car garage where you could park your car and on the right front corner there was a gas station.

My dad networked with all the prop people he knew until he got together enough wood and facade materials to turn the entire thing into an old western town.

They rented out each renovated motel room to small store owners who sold everything from hand made crafts to old books to small bakery items. The front store on the left was my parents antique store and the old gas station was turned into a hamburger stand called "Billy Goodins".

They also rented it out as locations for movies, TV shows and once for a Playboy photoshoot.

It thrived for several years until they got a few bad tenants and they got tired of hassling with them to pay the rent and keep the place clean. There was also small deli in the back that apparently was selling more than just sandwiches and got shut down by the police.

They closed it down in the mid 1970's and it sat unused for the next 20+ years except for the old hamburger stand that got walled in and made into a Thai food restaurant called the "Thai Spoon".

This place was a huge part of childhood.
I spent so many hours there, alone, while my parents worked on it.
I used to watch old game shows on a little black and white TV they kept upstairs above the general store in a small room that was always hotter than Hades because it was uninsulated.
But downstairs they had an old fashioned glass candy counter and I always got to choose a few pieces of candy to take upstairs with me... and we know how great that is for a kid.

I came across some pictures recently....

Here is a shot from across the street

This is the front sign

This is my parents antique shop the called "The Antiquest".
Somewhere I have a close up of the painted sign on the roof line.
Its a mermaid and I have no idea how that relates to antiques, but I guess it made sense to them.

This was one of the old motel units made over into shops. Actually when I look closer, it was one of the car ports that was transformed into 2 plain stores. The motel units actually had a bathroom and shared a small kitchen between them.

This was the "Star General Store" that my parents ran.
It was a popular place for the kids of the day to stop by on the way home from school and buy sweets from the giant glass candy counter in the back.
In it's heyday there were display pieces in those upper windows.

Here the Towne is making a cameo appearance on the TV show "Emergency".
The firemen are going into "Oil Can Harry's" which was a gay bar and I can proudly say that was where I had my 6th birthday party. Surprisingly every one in my kindergarten class showed up.

Yeah my parents were a bit ahead of their time. 

One thing I forgot to mention is that when my parents bought the place it came with an old lady who lived in the very back unit and refused to move. Her name was Irene and she was well into her 80's or older. My parents let her live there rent free for years. She smoked like a chimney and mostly sat in the room (which only had one window in the kitchen) and listened to the radio. As a kid I always felt sorry for her that she was alone. She had no family we knew of. Eventually my parents talked her into moving into an old age home (they paid for it) and it totally transformed her life. We went by to visit her a couple times a month and she was always playing the piano or socializing with the other people. She eventually died but I was happy that the last years of her life she had people around and seemed genuinely happy.

These next pictures are when the shops were done up for a movie that was shot there in about 1972 called "The Christmas Visit".

It starred Marty Allen who was a Christmas Elf trying to help a little boy learn about the magic of Christmas.
Your basic theme for made for TV Christmas shows.

I believe that you can still buy it on Amazon.

Because my parents were always looking for an opportunity to push me into the spotlight, they got the director to let me be in the parts of the movie that was shot here.

This is a long shot from the sidewalk.
That plastic snow got everywhere and literally years later we were still finding it under stairs and in cracks.

They brought in a horse and buggy which I loved

Some more crew shots

And there's me,  right in the middle, overdressed in the fancy bonnet, red velvet coat and mink muff (I was supposed to be an urchin but apparently it paid better for me than the others).

This was my mom's way of making sure I was seen.

And the piece de resistance was having a bunch of publicity shots taken with the two stars of the show.

Of course my mom showed the photos to everyone and told them how I had this great role in a movie and she had the pictures to prove it.

The boy (Billy Simpson) who starred in the movie found me on Facebook a number of years ago and gave me a copy of the movie so I was able to watch my (15 minute) stellar performance for the first time! 

It was a real treat I have to say.

 

Here is the opening where you can see me briefly 

 

 

So there was my 15 minutes of fame.

I guess no one can say I didn't have an interesting childhood.

Jeff and I finally sold the place awhile back and unfortunately it was in such disrepair that the people who bought it tore it all down except the Antiquest building which last time I drove past, was the office for the used car lot that they put there.

It feels a little like a movie where you can see what used to be there in flashbacks but when you look at what it is now, it's very surreal and you can't quite get your head around the fact that it's all gone.

My Dad's Navy Days

I thought I would commemorate Veteran's Day with a few of my dad's pictures from his tour with the Navy.

He was a communications specialist and served at the end of WWII with the Naval Air Technical Training Center in Memphis.

Here he is (on the right) with a couple of his buddies.

And here he is (far right bottom row) with the men he served with.

ARM AR-26 Sec. H

And this last one is a postcard with a photobooth picture slid inside that he sent home thanking the "Folks" (as he called them) for the candy they sent.
He had a real sweet tooth!

Thank you for serving Dad.
And thank you to all who have and are serving to this day.

Way Back Wednesday ~~ 1971

Today we venture back to my 6th birthday party.

My parents owned what was originally an old motel on Ventura Blvd in Studio City.

They fixed it up to look like an old western town and called in Knaggs Berry Town.

(Their last name was Knaggs, it was on Berry drive and it was supposed to be a town).

Across the street from it was a gay bar called Oil Can Harry's.

My parents became very good friends with Bert the owner.

He was a wonderful man and when my parents were looking for a place to have my 6th birthday he offered the use of his main dance floor. The whole place was only open after 8 at night.

My parents, ever mindful of saving money thought it was a wonderful idea so out went the party invitations inviting a bunch of kindergardeners to a fun filled afternoon at the local (gay) watering hole. Apparently not many people were bothered by it because most of my classmates showed up.

The first picture is me on the pool table. It looks like Ive been having a good time already because my stockings were filthy!

The next 2 pictures are of the piñata portion of the program.

The first one is me having a go at the parrot.

And there's my dad with his usual cigarette.

You can also see ALL the way on the right the Pin the Tail on the Donkey poster.

I think I cheated when I played so I could win.

I'm glad I developed a sense of ethics as I got older because I don't think I had any at this age.

This next picture shows my mom placing the blindfold on a little boy whose name I do not remember.

I do remember that he had a lot of really cool red hair and freckles.

You can't see me in this picture but I CAN see Sally who is still my best friend to this day.

As crazy as it sounds, I still have that skirt that my mom is wearing.

 (I think it's the same one that she is wearing in my first WayBackWed post?)

Don't you just dig that retro yellow daisy wallpaper in the background?

And those pink and blue doors were the bathrooms.

I have a whole tray of slides from this day and I think I may break them out soon and show them to my kids.

They may need some color fixing if I go to develop them but showing them on a big screen in the living room sounds like a lot of fun. 

Now if I just find a slide projector that actually works!

The Countdown Begins

We have entered the month of Jeffrey's birth.
Exactly 21 more days to be precise.

Which is followed 25 days later by Christmas.

Given this chain of events.. I do not think Jeffrey will not stop vibrating until sometime mid-January.

We stopped in at "Toys R Us" recently and came home with a holiday catalog. If he spent as much time and depth of focus on his schoolwork as he does on this book, he would be graduating high school next spring.

He has a detailed list outlining his wants and desires. I think we are on the 7th or 8th revision (so far this week).

And since we have previously determined that Jeffrey has no internal dialog, I hear about what he wants, why he wants it and how it will improve his life if he gets it at any point there is dead air space. Which includes car rides, moments between swallowing and taking another bite at dinner, the 1.2 seconds between commercials and the time between my closing the bathroom door and the sound of the flushing toilet. He finds standing in my bedroom pretending to be talking to himself while I am otherwise occupied an opportune moment to get the maximum amount of air time for "Jeffrey's Wheel.............. of................. Desire"

High on his list are Star Wars Lego sets, video games (the titles of which change daily), Bey blades (I gotta look these up since I am unfamiliar with them), tech decks (I thought he'd had these before and didn't play with them but I have been informed I am mistaken on this fact...) and any kind of "sience (I forgot how to spell it)" equipment like microscopes or kits to grow things like bacteria or mold or crystals.

I told him thats what refrigerators were for but he didn't seem to think that was a reasonable substitute.
Well I tried.

"Whatever you can't afford to get me for my birthday, I will put on Santa's list and he can get it for me for Christmas."

Yeah I wished it worked that way. I have always told my kids that Santa sends a bill after Christmas and we parents have to pay Santa back for all the toys he brings and that's why they couldn't get really expensive toys just for the asking. I mean Santa has to pay his elves and feed his reindeer right? And what about the electric and gas bill? It's gotta cost a fortune to heat that place of his. He does us parents a favor by gathering the toys and delivering them but we still gotta pay. It is after all the real world.

And because you were wondering, YES my going on 10 year old still firmly believes in Santa. If he asked me outright I would probably own up to the truth but the real truth is that since he is my last little guy (in a long line of those who came before him) I enjoy that he still holds onto the magic. At least one more year.

Kids in his class have been telling him that there is no Santa since 2nd grade but he tells me these kids have no idea what they are talking about and he refuses to pay any attention to their deluded ramblings.

So for the next 46 days there will not be many peaceful or quiet moments but looking at the spark of happiness and anticipation in his eyes, I guess it will all be worth it.

Child Rearing 101

So what is it that parents want for their kids?

Most people say they want them to be happy.
"As long as they are happy, I'm happy"

But happy is subjective. Sometimes when someone is doing something that makes them happy, they are inadvertently making others unhappy while they are doing it. And since they were raised to with the "be happy at all costs" mentality they don't give a wits bit of care if their being happy bothers someone else.

What I want most for my kids is for them to become adults that think of other people. Not at the expense of themselves, but to be aware of what is going on around them. How others are feeling and how their actions affect other people they are in contact with.

I stress to them often to think about what they say and how they conduct themselves. Pay attention to the effect they are having on the world.

I admit to micromanaging them when they are small.... making sure they don't push the other kid at the park or shove in front of the line when they want to get on the slide or grab a toy from another playmate. Always correcting behavior that might give them the label "does not play well with others". And as they get older I do less of that. Most parents do it the other way around. They let the little kids do whatever they want because "Its cute" or "They will grow out of it" or "They don't know any better".

I can tell you that kids do not grow out of cute obnoxious behavior. It stays obnoxious but stops being cute. And they won't know better unless they are told. Often. If you don't get your kids used to being guided (and accepting it) when they are little they won't suddenly decide you know what you're talking about when they hit their teens. You know, the time when they need the most advice and are the least likely to take it?

Most people tell me I have great kids. And often they ask "How do you get them to act like that?".  I tell them they don't have a choice. Well what does THAT mean they want to know. That means they listen or get a consequence if they don't listen the first time (Well OK sometimes the second but never more than that). Nothing severe, maybe just leaving the store or being taken to the car if they aren't acting the way they should. Sent to their room if they are at home.  For Jeffrey it's simply the threat that I would raise my voice and direct attention to him that keeps him in line. Frankly I rarely if ever have to enact a consequence. They know I'm serious when I tell them to knock it off because they know I will follow through.

I also want my kids to behave when they are out of my sight. And I want them to behave because they know it's the right thing to do, not because they are afraid they will get in trouble.

How many parents say "I have to put the fear of God in my kids so they will listen to me." That isn't the foundation for building character.

True character comes from doing the right thing because you know it's right not because someone is watching you and you might get in trouble.

It starts when they are toddling around and they look to you, the parent, to build the guard rails for their life. As they get older you can start loosening the reigns and widening the road. You will have given them the tools they need to keep on the right path.

Set them up for success early by teaching them to have self control, to be empathetic to those around them and to be mindful of how their actions are affecting their environment.

If we all taught our children this way then I'm pretty sure the world would not be in the shape it is in today.

Way Back Wednesday ~~ 1948

Today we take you back to the mid to late1940's.

The date is approximate but I know my dad was somewhere in his 20's when he worked here so we are settling on 1948.

Both of these were taken when he was managing a King Cole grocery store  (The Friendly Place) which was either in Oklahoma or Texas. Judging by the products I would say this was around Christmas time.

The first pic he is putting a display together (a carload sale) and holding Softasilk which was a cake mix that had cornstarch added to it. And you could buy it for the bargain basement price of 37¢ each.

Unfortunately everything else is a bit too blurry and even blown up in photoshop I cant make out the names of the other products. But they were all pretty cheap.

In this second picture my dad is hanging up candy canes which could be yours for just 10¢ each. FOr some reason this seems pricey to me considering the prices of the boxed goods. 

The other things for sale include K's Grapeade (It's refreshing!), Lady's sliced Cranberry Sauce, Teaser's Popped Corn and Libby's Tomato Juice which is priced at 27¢ each.

Gotta love that tie my dad is wearing!

I have a couple of other pictures of his time in the store but I will save them for another time.

See you soon!