The Squat Challenge

So Thursday Katherine decides she wants to do the squat challenge (like the cinnamon challenge only with less choking and sputtering). 
She does 50 squats and feels pretty proud of herself. 
Until Thursday night. 
The soreness starts to set in. 
By Friday she is limping and whining and noting she had better not do that days next challenge of 60 squats. 
By this morning she cannot walk and crawled from the bedroom to living room chair. 
After I was finished trying to hold in the laughter (yeah I'm nice I know) I helped her start a day long movie marathon. 
Footloose (80's version) finished and now she's starting on Born Yesterday (also the 80's version). 
I guess I better go see what else I've got because there are lot of hours left in the day and it doesn't look like she's going anywhere.

PSA from the Cleaning Staff

I have felt the need to impart the following notice to any and all teen boys who frequent the hall bathroom.

 

The order is Look, Aim and then Release..... NOT Aim, Release, Look and Correct.

 

The janitorial staff thanks you for your consideration in this matter.

 

Blue Toenails for Everyone

So it doesn't take a genius to see that I have completely neglected my poor blog.
I haven't been idle however.
I started a page over on Facebook last month called "A Little Slice of Vintage Life" and have spent quite a bit of my time promoting it and delighting in the fact that my "likes" on the page have marched to over 1000.
But I haven't been here too much.
When I dropped by this morning I noticed that I had once again collected some new followers despite my lack of effort so I thought maybe I should give this a try again.
It's not like the Dynamic Duo has stopped giving me material.

I had just picked them up from Karate and was heading out the driveway on the other end of the complex when Katherine noted the "Foot Massage Parlor" tucked in the back corner.

K: Look Mom, you can get a whole hour's worth of a foot massage there for only $40.

I didn't know how to tell her that I doubted any foot massaging would be going on during said hour.
Our pretty little town, with it's extremely low crime rate and extremely high real estate prices hides a dirty little secret... We have more "Foot Massage Parlors" per capita than anywhere else in the United States. I may be exaggerating a bit but if you drive the boulevard, there is one in almost every strip mall so I bet I am not too far off with my statistics. And I am quite sure we do not also lead the nation in foot fetishes, so I can be pretty confidant that there are other things going on behind the curtained windows beside hot oil treatments and loofah scrubbing.

J: I don't think I'd like to have someone rub my feet, it hurts.
K: Yeah, Gabby kicked the pedicure lady in the face once because she rubbed too hard.
J: See? I told you.
K: Hey can I paint your toenails if I don't rub your feet.
J: Um, I guess so, can I read while you're doing it?
K: Sure, That'll be fun. Let's do it when we get home.
J: OK, but make sure you put on a base coat before you put on the color. Then make sure you put a topcoat on afterwards so it doesn't chip off. And you can't paint them pink, or even red. Do you have blue? (I'd really love to know how he even knows about the proper method of toenail painting, but I kept my mouth shut).
K; Yeah, I'll paint mine blue too, then when we take our shoes off at Karate it will be joke and everyone will laugh because our toenails will match.
J: OK, but remember I get to read while you're doing it.
***Pause***
Me: Jeffrey?
J: Yes?
Me: You don't mind having your nails painted? You don't think anyone will make fun of you?
J: (eye roll): Geez Mom why do I care? It's not like they'll be pink or anything. And it they made fun of me I would ignore them because they are dumb and I don't care what dumb people think.

Well there you have it.

He's been listening to me all this time.
Who would have thought!

No, I can't just Rewind

 

Over the weekend I picked up an 8MM projector at the thrift store for a whopping $9. It's been years since I saw the 4 home movies my parents took back in 1965 of my first Christmas.

I got the projector home and it needed a little futzing with but eventually we got it running and played the first film. As I was watching it, I stopped to take a minute (tears in my eyes) and also to call my daughter from the other room to watch it with me. She wanted to see the part that I had already watched but I told her we would have to finish watching this reel then I'd have to put the film back onto the first reel and rethread it before we could watch it again.

My 12 year old said "That seems like a lot of work... Why don't you just push rewind?"

***SIGH***

Sorry Kid, they didn't make these things with rewind back then.

They will never know how good they've got it nowadays.

Blah

"BUT MOM!! He/She started it and said BLAH BLAH BLAH and then I said (very nicely) blah blah blah and then he/she said BLAH BLAH BLAH AGAIN... and that wasn't nice so I was coming to tell you about it when you came in and I didn't get a chance to."

 

Yep, pretty much sums it up.

 

Did you know, no one can drive except me?

If people would just learn how to drive I would not need to continually draw from my list of handy dandy questions and helpful suggestions for other drivers.


What are you doing?
No seriously, What... ARE... you doing?

Go... Go.... please just go.....

Crap, is that a cop?

I'm already driving over the speed limit, what more do you want?

They have a slow lane for a reason... use it and get out of my way.

Where did you learn to drive?  Mario Cart?

G**DAMN woman drivers!

Is THAT a cop?

Go... GO GO GO...  why aren't you going?

What are you 105? Get off the road!

It's called a gas pedal.... USE IT!

Beware the van.

It was MY turn...

Now THAT looks like cop.

Who taught you to drive, my grandmother?

Turn.... now.... go now.... TURN! For the love of GOD why don't you turn already???

Why can't everyone drive as well as I do?

Oh I'm sorry.... was I in your way?

Make up your mind! This lane or that lane.

Not BOTH lanes.

NICE TURN SIGNAL JERK!

Why would you do that? WHY?

Go... gogogogogo.... you could have gone 20 times.. what is WRONG with you?

CRAP CRAP CRAP.... Now THAT IS a cop.

No Math for Old People

Help me!!!

I don't wanna do 6th grade algebra anymore!

I'm too grown up for this!

I AM I AM I AM!!!!!!!!

No really, I am.