Did you know, no one can drive except me?

If people would just learn how to drive I would not need to continually draw from my list of handy dandy questions and helpful suggestions for other drivers.


What are you doing?
No seriously, What... ARE... you doing?

Go... Go.... please just go.....

Crap, is that a cop?

I'm already driving over the speed limit, what more do you want?

They have a slow lane for a reason... use it and get out of my way.

Where did you learn to drive?  Mario Cart?

G**DAMN woman drivers!

Is THAT a cop?

Go... GO GO GO...  why aren't you going?

What are you 105? Get off the road!

It's called a gas pedal.... USE IT!

Beware the van.

It was MY turn...

Now THAT looks like cop.

Who taught you to drive, my grandmother?

Turn.... now.... go now.... TURN! For the love of GOD why don't you turn already???

Why can't everyone drive as well as I do?

Oh I'm sorry.... was I in your way?

Make up your mind! This lane or that lane.

Not BOTH lanes.

NICE TURN SIGNAL JERK!

Why would you do that? WHY?

Go... gogogogogo.... you could have gone 20 times.. what is WRONG with you?

CRAP CRAP CRAP.... Now THAT IS a cop.

No Math for Old People

Help me!!!

I don't wanna do 6th grade algebra anymore!

I'm too grown up for this!

I AM I AM I AM!!!!!!!!

No really, I am.

 

Homework Hell, Part 2

2 - (-3) = 5

Of course this makes perfect sense.

Can you see the sparks and smell the smoke and hear the gears grinding to a halt as I try to explain this to the dynamic duo?

"Well you see children, when you subtract a negative you are actually adding a positive.
It makes perfect sense.
No really.
It does.
No, I'm serious, that's how it works.
The rule is: Two negatives make a positive.
Yes, I know I've said that two wrongs don't make a right, but this is different.
I don't know WHY OK?
Just accept it as fact and finish your homework."

I think I hate homework more than they do.

Probably because I thought I was all finished with school and now here I am spending an hour or more a day on solving Algebra problems, making Neolithic tools, coloring maps of Mesopotamia  and looking up who were the axis and allies of WW2.

Yes, they are doing most of the work but I need to supervise because half the time neither are headed in the right direction and it's easier to cut them off at the pass and send them back 5 or 10 minutes instead of having them redo an hours worth of work done incorrectly.

And that wouldn't be quite so bad if I didn't have to argue with Katherine every 15 minutes about how I am right and she is wrong.

Oh wait...

I got that backwards.... SHE is right and I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

"MOM, you CANNOT subtract 13 from 3."

My eye begins to twitch.

I try (gently and without irritation) to explain to her that Yes, actually you CAN take 13 from 3. That she has done it for the last 4 problems. Nothing has changed. The number line has not suddenly stopped at zero. She rolled off her chair in frustration, hands on head in a simulated faint. "I don't get it!"

Obviously.

So next I try to explain an easier way to figure out certain problems. A way I was taught when I was kid. A way that makes perfect sense to me and seems ridiculously easy compared to how she was trying to work it out. I am greeted with a raised eyebrow even Spock would be proud of.

Sarah wandered through and whispered "Don't worry Katherine, Mom is Old School.... it's OK if you don't understand what she's saying."

Katherine nods in understanding. "They taught them different back in the day, didn't they?"

Yeah, way back when, when we were learning by firelight and writing on cave walls.
At least then we didn't have to do this crap like charting points on a graph to make a picture.
That even after the 4th attempt the damn thing still looks like a butterfly who was injured in an unfortunate netting accident.
And no matter how we both try we can't seem to figure out what was done wrong.

I'm done.
And so are they.
No one cares that they will not get an A on the graph.
They are just happy that the rest of the work is done and they can each have a homemade cupcake and fall into bed so they can do it all over again tomorrow.

 Hallow-freakin-lou-yah

The Scale of Awesome

So the dynamic duo is now in middle school

They are all grown up and mature and no longer require close supervision to make sure they are getting along and playing nice.

Oh, yeah.. who are we kidding.

Basically I am on the verge of abdicating my throne.
(You did know I was queen of the household didn't you??)

Tonight my subjects were unhappy with their assigned homework duties of studying for their "top-o-GRAPHY" quiz tomorrow.
(It's to-POG-raphy Jeffrey, I might have already mentioned that once or twice or fifty times this evening).

Frankly, I didn't know there could be so much bickering and fussing over who was going to make the flash cards and who got to hold them first. Apparently there is some mystical phenomenon that causes you to immediately rise several levels on the scale of awesome if you are in charge of flash cards. And anyone else who is NOT in charge of said flash cards might as well give up hope of ever even registering on the scale, now or in the future. I was unaware of this and am glad that my children are here to educate me.

I decided that I would allow them to work through their bid for superiority themselves and eventually they did work it out.

And work it out they did... because suddenly there was a moment of intense giggling and hooting which lasted far too long and was far too loud for any studying to actually be going on.

I stepped in and put a stop to that...
Yes siree... none of that "having fun when you should be studying" nonsense allowed in THIS house!!

and they immediately went back to arguing about who did a better job on the map of Mesopotamia that they had to draw.

I just can't win.

In case you were wondering...

Watching the closing ceremonies. Katherine informed us that one of the members of One Direction is afraid of spoons. 

The things 13 year olds have filed away just waiting for the right moment to spill what they know.

A Visit to the Huntington Library in Pasadena

In an effort for the kids not to spend the entire summer holed up in their room on electronic entertainment and to broaden their cultural horizons, we took advantage of the Huntington Library's free day.

They give the tickets away on the first of the month for the following month. I had to fight the hoards on line by hovering over the "get tickets" button well before 9 AM when the ticket agency opened because I discovered the month before that Free Tickets are like Free Money and they were snatched up and gone within 2 minutes of opening. Making me have to try again next time.

And it also happens to be a pretty freakin' long way away from our house. Probably an hour by the time we navigated the freeways (and stopped to let me use the bathroom). Or maybe it just seemed like an hour with all the "Are we there yet?" and "How come it looks like we're going to Disneyland? Isn't this the way we go when we go to Disneyland? Why don't we just go there instead...???"

Eventually we arrived, parked and headed in.

This used to be a private residence back in the day.

I loved this:

Beautiful flowers:

The view from the top of the hill. You can see out into Pasadena.

First we made our way down into the Japanese Gardens:
Love this giant bell. There used to be something you could strike it with but I guess people abused the privilege so it's not there anymore.

They have this beautiful tea room open to look at but you can't go inside:

Zen Garden:

The Bonsai Tree Garden.
These were SO incredible:

We went into the giant greenhouse which was incredibly humid but the plants were beautiful:

The orchids in a cage:

The center dome:

This plant (on the right) is in the process of producing one HUGE leaf that will be 15 foot tall.:

This looks like something out of Dr. Seuss:

They thought this huge leaf was worth posing in front of:

Hey, go stand in front of the giant urn and I will take a picture...
No not go look goofy.....
Smile... stand there and just smile....
Oh never mind....

We finally made it into the main residence which was incredible:

A Gutenberg Bible:

Sarah, Jeff & Jeffery admiring Blue Boy:

Pinky across the gallery:

George Washington:

I couldn't use my flash so this picture is blurry but it gives you the idea of how impressive the galleries were:

Outside looking out at the grounds:

Geek Family Games ~~ Videos

Back in June I entered a Fathers Day video contest.

It was the first time I tried out editing.

I made the top 10 in the contest but didn't make the coveted top 5 probably because I didn't really adhere to spirit of the contest which was supposed to be about memories you had playing games with your dad and how it affects your family.

I had a real blast doing it though and really want to make some more.

This is an "outtake" reel that I made.

Gives you a good idea of what a lovely pair of coconuts I've got.

Mostly just for more practicing in editing.