More Kitty Fuzz!!!

I'm babysitting my grandkitties this week while Sarah (their mommy) is out of town.

Grandkitties are like grandchildren because you can spoil them and then send them home.

My kitties, with the exception of Leo who loves everyone, are not enjoying their visit. Madison refuses to leave the bedroom area of the house which means she can't get to little things like the litter box or food tray. I've had to rearrange things to accommodate her which wasn't on the top of my to-do list this week. 

Wednesday (affectionately known as Porkchop due to her current girth) makes herself at home right away.

Suma (short for some-of this and some-of that) stalks the computer cord from behind a chair leg.

WAIT...What was THAT?

It's mine!

Prepare to be eaten fish!

GOTCHA!

Nom Nom Nom!

The Spaceman Cometh

Yeah, I wouldn't have believed it either! 



This must be where he got his schnazzy suit! 

I gotta get me one of these.. I mean it's got 8 zippers and inside pockets (strong selling points by any standard)... but it's also made out of nylon! And all for the bargain price of $7.95 (plus .75 postage and handling). Seeing how it originally cost $180, how could you not order one for yourself???

The Dark Truth

Occasionally I like to try to impress my children with my vast knowledge base.

No laughing please.

I may not be like the encyclopedia I am married to who can read an article and absorb all the facts and then repeat them verbatim, understanding everything he is imparting. But I do know a thing or two that might seem impressive when you're under 4 foot tall.

Thanks to an over the top 5th grade teacher, I know all the states and their capitals and can point them out on a map.

I am better than average at teen Jeopardy being able to call out the answer faster than the high schooler contestants.... and occasionally surprise myself and know a number of the harder answers on adult Jeopardy. I have even proven that I am indeed smarter than a 5th grader. Most of the time.

I can name most dog breeds by sight, even the more obscure ones. (Yes I know.. you're jealous).

I am fairly good at being able to use correct grammar and am above average in spelling. (Even though spell check just informed me I spelled grammar incorrectly..  ironic to be sure)

I am really very good at "pencil puzzles" and aces at logic problems (having gotten an A+ in symbolic logic in college). Perhaps I should have gone into military intelligence..cracking codes and what not. (but not cracking COEDS as I originally mis-typed.)

The kids take most of my knowledge in stride, none too impressed with me knowing that Pierre is the Capital of South Dakota or that dog we saw walking down the street was a Dandy Dinmont terrier, or even that I answered the $1000 question on Jeopardy when none of the contestants did. But what they always do comment on is that fact that I can tell them which opera a particular song came from and I can even hum the tune.

WOW mom how did you know that came from the Barber of Seville? Or Ride of the Valkyries? Where did you learn that? In college?

Unfortunately I cannot tell them the dark truth to this question. It would take all mystique out of what seems to be awe inspiring to them.

And the truth, dear reader is that I spent my Saturday mornings as a kid watching the worlds funniest rabbit.. Bugs Bunny. Yes, those cartoons that were filled with classical references to some of the more memorable operas.. either poking fun or simply using the music. It would be hard to tell my kids that I gained this impressive knowledge by spending my childhood Saturday mornings holed up in my parents room, eating 3 bowls of cereal and watching cartoons.

Shhhhhh.. don't tell them!

Seriously?

No, I mean it..seriously?

All these years all I had to do was get some vitamins so I could cook clean and dust more and my husband would think I was I was cuter?

Who knew?

I guess the people in the 1930's thats who!

Grandma Jeffrey

It's tough when your 9 year old worries more about things than you do.

His scope of concerns run far and wide and encompass not just himself but everyone around him.

He's a Jewish grandma in a little boy suit.

"MOM! Katherine is going out to ride her bike..."

"Yes and?"

"She just finished eating and she will get sick to her stomach if she rides her bike now.. she needs to wait for at least half an hour."

"Jeffrey, that's swimming.... relax."

__________

"Mom, the expiration date on this dressing says it's best if used by today.... why did you put it on my salad? Isn't it going make me sick if I eat it?"

"It's fine Jeffrey, you just had some last night."

"Yes, but last night was yesterday and it hadn't expired yet.. today it's expired.... Are you sure I won't get sick?"

I stifle the urge to say something sarcastic about why anyone would poison him on purpose.

__________

(From the back seat, bobbing and weaving to get a good look at the instrument panel):  "Mom the speed limit is 65 on the freeway, it looks like you are going almost 70."

(Thank you officer)

(Continuing to crane around to get a good look at the gauges): "Mom, the gas gauge is on empty, aren't we going to run out of gas?"

"It's not completely empty, the light isn't on yet and I plan on stopping for gas as soon as we get off the freeway."

"Yes but what if the light is broken and we run out of gas before we get off the freeway?
We will be stopped in traffic and other people will run into us and the car will be wrecked."

"The light is not broken."

"How do you know?"

"I just do OK?"

"Yes but HOW do you know? Is there some other light that tells you when other lights are broken?
What if ALL the lights are broken?"

You know what kid... you're going to give yourself an ulcer.

_____________

It's not that I don't appreciate the fact that in reality he is just looking out for everyone's health and safety...

It's just that he will never take anyone's word for it when we tell him it's going to be OK.

He is pretty sure that he is the only one of the group who senses danger and if he doesn't warn us all, we will all get sick to our stomachs, die of food poisoning or be stuck on the highway of life out of gas and helpless because we didn't see the warning signs like he did.

I guess we're all lucky that he's here.

More Things Forgotten

I do believe I must suffer from early onset Alzheimer's disease. Only I can't remember why

No seriously... I forget more things on a daily basis then is normal, I'm sure of it.

The other day Jeff called me to come to the dojo and bring him the vacuum (he was fixing the wall and made a dusty mess). That was all he called me for, that was all I had to remember. That was the only reason I was leaving the house. So of course I walked to the car, drove to the dojo, got out of the car, walked into the dojo smiling happily.... right up to the point that I realized the vacuum was sitting back at the house forgotten as I breezed past it out door.

That was a tough one to explain.

"Exactly how does one forget the only thing you were leaving the house for?"

"Ummmmm..... I was so excited to come down and see you it overrode any rational thought and I raced out the door without any thought what-so-ever?"

I added a particularly cheesy smile.

"Yes well I buy the no thought what-so-ever part".

I deserved that I suppose.

The Blog Forgotten

 Hell hath no neglect like a blog forgotten.

It hasn't exactly been forgotten, Ive just been so overwhelmed and busy that I haven't had a spare moment to sit and do something pleasurable like blogging.

And while family life trudges forward, the summer has felt a million years long but the school year is in sight.

I miss my older kids who in moments of inspired independence have moved too far away to see them often. Even my oldest daughter who is only 30 miles away, is going to school so can't make it out more than a few times a month.

I suppose it makes me try to squeeze as much enjoyment as possible out of the younger crew who are still living at home because one day they will spread their wings and head off into the great unknown called life. And there won't be any others to fill up that void.

Don't get me wrong... I don't want more kids and I honestly can't wait to get this bunch back into school so I have a few minutes alone to do silly things, like think or use the bathroom without inquiry as to where I am.

Occasionally though there are moments that just remind you not to take yourself too seriously.

A couple weeks back I came across a baggie of those magnetic words that you can put up on the fridge and  make sentences.  I put the words up  making sure to remove the ones that I might not want them to use... I had purchased the "Love and Romance" add on set years ago and all those were mixed in. Though in the first day Jeff noted that Jeffrey was simply reading the words out loud and came across "Blow Me" strung together when I put them up. (No I wasn't paying attention)

After that we started getting more g-rated contributions

Katherine's included:
The moon is beautiful in the dark
Peace and Love

Alex added:
Please darling unicorn come laugh on our moon forever

Jeff  thought up:
They might like a dragon for dinner
Eat that monster creature from the boat
he also snuck "Bad Wolf" into the mix (Dr Who fans will appreciate that)

I wrote:
A pink goddess will sing and dance with the mermaid
Celebrate awesome love
Please kiss the bubble monster

And in the middle of all the flowery words and romantic thoughts was Jeffrey's addition:

"I ate a crayon".

Yep, that's my gifted child.