Thursday, August 26, 2010

Forget the bucket, abandon ship!

So here we are.

Life unexpected.

Not where I thought I'd be at this point, but I guess if I was really honest I would say I didn't give it much thought so maybe thats why I'm in this predicament.

I have spent the better part of my life hurling through the days trying to get to some future event, or through a current event and hoping it all turns out OK.

But the honest truth is I really believe it will turn out OK..every piece of it. Even when at times, like now, it all feels like a fancy balancing act. I saw a juggler once who was doing his whole routine standing on a plank that was on a barrel on its side that was on another plank that was balanced on several planks that were standing up on their ends. It was fascinating to watch. Its not so fascinating when you live it.

Especially when I didn't build the tower. Someone else built it and put me up here. But because I am not fond of breaking my neck by falling off or losing any of the things I am juggling, I roll to the left, roll to the right and try to keep all the things that have been thrown at me in a intricate dance flowing from one hand to the next.

Now don't get me wrong, I take full responsibility for where I am in my life. Or I should say I take full responsibility for not making plans and ending up here with a rather confused look on my face.

So what does one do when they find themselves fighting a losing battle while bailing water out of their lifeboat? I think it's time to get a better lifeboat. I don't think a bigger bucket is gonna help right now.

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